Lenny Baker credited as playing...
Larry Lapinsky
- Ellen: Was everything a joke to you?
- Larry Lapinsky: Not everything.
- Herbert Berghof - Acting Coach: See, you're joking right now, right?
- Larry Lapinsky: What do you want me to say?
- Herbert Berghof - Acting Coach: Joking is what's doing you in. Joking is the American actor's disease. It's the American person's disease. Because what you're doing is you're keeping reality out so that it won't touch you. The worst kind of joking you can do is keep life out. Commenting, editorializing, joking - terrible! Don't do it. It's fatal.
- Nick Kessel: Hi. Buenas noches, señor. Senñorita.
- Larry Lapinsky: How are you?
- Nick Kessel: Good.
- Sarah Roth: Who is that?
- Larry Lapinsky: It's Nick Kessler. He's a crazy guy. He saved up all his money to go to Mexico. Wanted to see the ruins. You know, get into the primitive thing. So, he quit his job and everything, and he took off for Mexico City on Monday. Two beers, Ray.
- Sarah Roth: Yesterday Monday?
- Larry Lapinsky: Right. So he got off the plane, and he ate a taco... and he got a terrible case of the shits... so he took the next plane back. He spent two and a half hours in Mexico. He says it stinks.
- Mrs. Tupperman: [calling out to him from an upstairs window, as he is leaving home] Larry! Larry!
- Larry Lapinsky: Hi, Mrs. Tupperman.
- Mrs. Tupperman: Where are you going with all that luggage?
- Larry Lapinsky: Greenwich Village.
- Mrs. Tupperman: You're moving?
- Larry Lapinsky: Yeah.
- Mrs. Tupperman: What's in Greenwich Village?
- Larry Lapinsky: Fame and fortune... I'll see you later, Mrs. Tupperman.
- Mrs. Tupperman: Be careful, Larry.
- Robert Fulmer: I did run away from home when I was 15. I knew I wanted to be a writer. I knew... I also knew I wanted to sleep with a lot of different women. What can I tell you? People get hurt.
- Larry Lapinsky: I'll tell you something, Robert. Underneath that pose is just more pose. Adios.
- [gets up and walks out]