Cathryn Damon credited as playing...
Mary Campbell
- Mary Gatling Dallas Campbell: I have one son who's about to become my daughter, another son whom people are trying to kill, I have a lunatic stepson and a dummy living in my home and a husband who won't make love to me. That's not life, that's something by Tennessee Williams!
- [in a sex therapist's office]
- Dr Medlow: What seems to be the problem?
- Mary Gatling Dallas Campbell: Burt can't have sex with me.
- Burt: Great. Why don't you tell the whole world, Mary. Or better yet put it in the Yellow Pages under Burt.
- Announcer: This is the story of two sisters. Jessica Tate and Mary Campbell. These are the Tates, and these are the Campbells, and this is Soap.
- Jessica Gatling Tate, Mary Gatling Dallas Campbell: [after Burt and Chester start a physical altercation] Hey! Stop!
- [soon the whole family tries to stop Burt and Chester from fighting]
- [Jessica and Mary thumbing through a photo album]
- Jessica Gatling Tate: Look, Mary.
- Mary Gatling Dallas Campbell: Randolph.
- Jessica Gatling Tate: That's right. Our brother. Our brother who fathered an illegitimate child with a Swedish maid and then disappeared into the wilds of Ecuador. Don't you find that a little peculiar?
- Mary Gatling Dallas Campbell: Jessie, Randolph was peculiar. Any man who would go to Ecuador to sell wall-to-wall carpet is not all there.
- Mary Gatling Dallas Campbell: [at the sex therapist's office] This is a perfectly normal office.
- Burt: Normal, huh? Take a look at some of these books: "Sexual Perversion: Fact or Fiction" Normal? "Sexuality in Infancy" Oh, I like that one a lot. "The Frigid Woman", "The Impotent Male" - I have to get out of here.