Diane Keaton credited as playing...
- Man in bar: Me, queer! Jesus, I'm a married man, I've got 2 kids and a very expensive mistress. I'm an animal.
- Theresa: That's why you go to gay bars ?
- Theresa: May I buy you a drink? Not even one for luck?
- Bartender: Confidentially, with me, one's too many and a million's not enough.
- Theresa: I got the same problem with men.
- Martin: Teaching's a waste of time, I'm writing a novel.
- Theresa: Isn't everybody.
- Martin: Getting divorced too.
- Theresa: Isn't everybody.
- Katherine: We all hurt someplace and we're all looking for a painkiller.
- Theresa: Well, to the painkillers.
- Theresa: I'm alone! I'm alone, I'm not lonely. And depressed and you are depressing me!
- Theresa: Honeymoon? I thought you went to get an abortion!
- Theresa: Everybody's taking something or they'd never make it till morning.
- James: Is that why you don't wash the dishes, because the roaches are hungry?
- Theresa: Why else?
- Theresa: First thing, on with the tv. Next - nothing. Just sit there on the bed watching the porno movie, I honest to God expect he's going to bring out a bag of popcorn. Finally, the big moment. He doesn't even take off his pants. And all the time he's doing it to me, he's watching them do it on tv.
- Theresa: When your nightlife interferes with your daylife...
- Theresa: Most guys first time out they try to score, they expect it. And some of them get pretty nasty if they don't get it. So by the second or third time it's either fuck, fight, or forget it.
- Theresa: Talk about amateur, played for a hooker by a square and ripped off as a sucker by a dick.
- Martin: Forgive me not, But please, oh please, forget me not
- Theresa: By parted lovers it is writ, Oh darling, thou art still a shit.
- Theresa: I don't believe in the future.
- James: What do you believe in?
- Theresa: Now. What happens now. That's what I believe in.
- Theresa: How did Barney take it?
- Katherine: Barney? Oh Barney took it real hard. He's already shacked up with a teenybopper with a maxi-mouth and a mini-brain, dirty thief! Oh yes, they also have his and her towels, his and her hairdryers, his and her vibrators!
- Martin: Poor little...
- Theresa: No. No, I hate people being sorry.
- Martin: I was only trying to comfort you.
- Theresa: I would rather be seduced than comforted.
