Satan's Cheerleaders

This rather strange film begins with an oversexed cheerleading squad in the process of rehearsing their cheers on a beach for an upcoming football game. Fortunately for them, as vapid as they may be, their cheerleading coach "Ms. Johnson" (Jacqulin Cole) is even more clueless, and as a result, they pretty much get to make out with the boys from the football team whenever they like. This changes, however, when they continue to disparage the local janitor "Billy Brooks" (Jack Kruschen) who not only places a satanic curse upon them but goes as far as to drive them to an altar where he attempts to rape one of the cheerleaders by the name of "Patti" (Kerry Sherman). What he doesn't realize is that Satan has other plans in mind and has no intention of allowing this to happen. Now, rather than reveal any more, I will just say that this was an interesting attempt to merge two popular sub-genres into one--a satanic horror film with that of a typical cheerleader sexploitation picture. Or maybe it's the other way around. Regardless, it doesn't work out that well, but even so, it was mainly cheap fodder for the drive-in circuit, so it didn't really matter in the grand scheme of things anyway. Be that as it may, it was difficult for me to decide whether this film should be classified as a comedy or a horror film, as there were elements of both to a certain degree. What is not indisputable is the fact that this was a low-budget production which suffered from bad acting and a very poor script which not even veteran actors like David Carradine (as "The Bum"), John Ireland ("The Sheriff"), or Yvonne De Carlo ("Emmy") could salvage. In short, it was not a good film by any means, but having said that, it might appeal to those looking for a campy and nostalgic offering of this sort.

With all the movies that came out in the 70's about satanic cults and sexy cheerleaders it was almost inevitable that someone would make a satanic cheerleader movie. It's only surprising that it took so long. This movie starts out as typical cheerleader sexploitation. It's tamer than most (I think it was originally rated "PG"!) with only brief snatches of nudity in an unusually circumspect shower scene and a lot of up-the-skirt camera shots. It certainly doesn't hold a candle to some of the earlier cheerleader films (which border on softcore porn), but it does have the usual atrocious acting, groan-inducing jokes and sexual double-entendres, and godawful 70's music.

It would be a waste-of-time T and A film (with precious little T or A)if not for an interesting turn halfway through where the cheerleaders'bus breaks down on the way to a game and they have a run-in with a small-town satanic cult(lead by b-movie luminaries like John Ireland,Yvonne DeCarlo, and John Carradine). Hilariously, the cult is looking for an "unsullied maiden" to sacrifice to Satan (if they'd seen one of these cheerleader movies they'd definitely look somewhere else). This satanic subplot is not the least bit scary, but it is enjoyably cheesy and the jokes start to hit more than miss. "They're all of them witches!" one especially dumb cheerleader says, making an unintentional allusion to the granddaddy of all devil movies, "Rosemary's Baby". Another girl is quite indignant that the cult wants to use her as a virgin sacrifice: "I'm no maiden--I've been a cheerleader for three years!".

If you're a pervert with a cheerleader fetish you're probably better off sticking to stronger stuff like the original "The Cheerleaders" (or a hardcore porn movie like "Debbie Does Dallas"), but if you enjoy ridiculous devil movies and/or cheesy 70's flicks like I do, you'll no doubt find this to be a pleasant little diversion.

Four high school cheerleaders—pretty blonde Patti (Kerry Sherman), brunette babe Chris (Hillary Horan), busty bird Sharon (Sherry Marks), and man-eater Debbie (Alisa Powell)—are travelling to a football game with their tasty physical education teacher Ms. Johnson (Jacqueline Cole) when they are abducted by Satanists who hope to sacrifice a 'pure maiden' to their master.

The first half an hour of this comedy/horror is a whole lot of cheesy fun, focusing on the Benedict High cheerleaders as they bicker with their rivals from Baker High, take a shower under the watchful eye of pervy janitor Mr. Brooks (Jack Kruschen), and fraternise with the jocks on the football team. There's plenty of female flesh on show, crazy pranks, a water fight, and some rough-housing, all accompanied by a cool and funky wakka-wakka guitar soundtrack.

However, once the girls fall foul of the devil worshipping cultists while on the road, the fun slowly dissipates. The action becomes extremely repetitive—the girls get get caught, they escape, they get caught, they escape, they get caught....—and despite lots more sneaky up-skirt shots and Ms.Johnson revealing some cleavage, it all becomes very tiresome indeed.

Well, what are you really expecting with a title like this one any way? Art? Basically, the producers deliver what is expected: adolescent humour, lots of young girls scantily clad, atrocious 70's music and outfits that would make Cher look like a groovy dresser, wooden performances, John Carradine in yet another laughable part, tissue-thin plot, and so on. Four teenaged cheerleaders and their teacher, all beautiful and partially clothed, get lost on route to a football game. They eventually are given a ride by the janitor at the school who has been ogling them through holes in the wall, and just happens to belong to a coven of Satanists led by sheriff Bub, played by John Ireland. The janitor takes them on a ride only to get knocked out after attempting to rape the blonde that seems to have powers. The girls manage to get away and go to the sheriff for help, only to discover that he is their worst nightmare(not really as nothing in this film is even close to being suspenseful). The rest...really is very trite and uninteresting, except for its comic appeal to afficionados of bad cinema. The film boasts quite an impressive line-up of famous character actors(all of them wasted) with Ireland, Carradine, Yvonne De Carlo, and Sydney Chaplin(the funniest of the cast). The girls are dirty-minded and everything they say has some double meaning. At least they are not shy, a small point in the film's favor. Watch at your own risk, but certainly good for an evening of laughs..the unintended kind.

As many others before me have likely pointed out, "Satan's Cheerleaders" is really too tame to work that well as an exploitation film. However, provided one refuses to take it seriously, they *can* have some fun with it. There is a sense of humour present, and a tongue in cheek tone. Co-written and directed by B movie veteran Greydon Clark ("Without Warning"), it's an amiable enough bag of garbage.

Still, one has to sit through way too much tomfoolery (for at least the first third of the movie) as nothing that entertaining happens. Kerry Sherman (as Patti), Hillary Horan (as Chris), Alisa Powell (as Debbie), and the well endowed Sherry Marks (as Sharon) play our title characters. On their way to a football game, they're waylaid by Billy (Jack Kruschen), the bumbling, stuttering janitor at their school. They've been selected as sacrifices for local Satan worshippers led by a genial sheriff (John Ireland) and his nutty wife (Yvonne De Carlo).

Devotees of cinematic trash may take exception to a low body count, an absence of gore, and the limited amount of bare female flesh. This is closer to the kind of thing one might expect to see in TV movie treatment of such material. The slumming big name cast provides some curiosity value; De Carlo appears to be serious, but Ireland is clearly kidding around, John Carradine knowingly hams it up as a bum, Kruschen is appropriately off putting, and Sydney Chaplin has some fun as one of the Devils' disciples. He plays a monk, and actually gets addressed as "Monk"; also, the girls have their names stenciled on their tops just so we're never in doubt as to who is who. Director Clarks' wife Jacqueline Cole plays Phys. Ed. teacher Ms. Johnson.

When the sheriffs' actual name is "B.L. Bubb", you know you're not watching high art, or anything remotely subtle.

Recognizable names among the crew are cinematographer Dean Cundey, camera operator Ray Stella, and script supervisor Debra Hill.

Five out of 10.