Mike Henry credited as playing...
Junior
- Buford T. Justice: [shouting at a trucker that has sheared a door off his patrol car] I saw that, you sumbitch! You did that on purpose! You're going away till you're gray! I got the evidence!
- Buford T. Justice: [speaks to Junior] Put the evidence in the car.
- Junior: But, Daddy...
- Buford T. Justice: Put the *evidence* in the *car*!
- [shouting to trucker again]
- Buford T. Justice: I'm gonna barbecue yo' ass in molasses!
- Buford T. Justice: [driving through wind] Hold my hat for me!
- [Junior obliges, but loses his own hat]
- Junior: My hat blew off, Daddy.
- Buford T. Justice: I hope your goddamn head was in it!
- Sheriff Branford: The fact that you are a sheriff is not germane to the situation.
- Buford T. Justice: The goddamn Germans got nothin' to do with it.
- Junior: What did he say?
- Buford T. Justice: SHUT UP! ONE SHIT AT A TIME!
- Junior: All right.
- Buford T. Justice: [shouting out of a restaurant to Junior waiting in the car] You want something?
- Junior: Hushpuppies, Daddy!
- Buford T. Justice: We got no time for that crap!
- [mutters under his breath]
- Buford T. Justice: Dumb sumbitch...
- Junior: [waiting for the "funeral procession] Damn, he had a lot of friends, didn't he?
- Buford T. Justice: If they'd a cremated the sum-bitch. I could be kickin' that Mr. Bandit's ass around the moon by now.
- [Communicating through the C.B. radio]
- Bandit: Sheriff, uh, Buford T. Justice, please.
- Buford T. Justice: Who there?
- Bandit: This is Bandit Darville talkin'.
- Buford T. Justice: Where are you, you sumbitch?
- Bandit: Before I tell you where I am, Sheriff, there's just one thing I wanna say. You must be part coon-dog, 'cause I've been chased by the best of them, and son, you make 'em look like they're all runnin' in slow motion. I just wanna say that.
- Buford T. Justice: Well, thank you, Mr. Bandit. And as the pursuer, may I say you're the goddamnedest pursuee I've ever pursued. Now that the mutual bullshit is over, WHERE ARE YOU, YOU SUMBITCH?
- Bandit: Well, I'm right down at the bottom of the hill, Sheriff. I'm about 6-foot-8, in a cowboy outfit, got a little pygmy standing right beside me dressed just like me. You can't miss me. 10-4.
- [Buford looks down the hill]
- Bandit: You know what? Scratch that. I can't lie to you, Sheriff. You're too good a man. Look over your left shoulder.
- [Buford turns, and sees the Bandit]
- Bandit: We're on our way to Boston to pick up some clam chowder. Bye-bye!
- Carrie: No hard feelings, Junior!
- [the Bandit drives off, but Buford follows on his wreck of a car]
- Buford T. Justice: I'm not givin' up! I'm not givin' up! I'm never gonna give up! I'm never gonna give up! I'll get you, you sumbitch!
- Junior: [running after the car] Daddy, wait for me! Don't leave me! Who's gonna hold your hat?
- Buford T. Justice: Nobody, and I mean NOBODY makes Sheriff Buford T. Justice look like a possum's pecker.
- Junior: Except for that...
- Buford T. Justice: Shut your ass.
- Buford T. Justice: Apprehend that horse ass for reckless driving!
- Junior: But, Daddy...
- Buford T. Justice: Do what I tell you, you pile of monkey nuts!