Christopher Lloyd credited as playing...
Reverend Jim Ignatowski
- [during a written driving test]
- "Reverend Jim" Ignatowski: Pssssttt... what does the yellow light mean?
- Bobby Wheeler: "Slow down."
- "Reverend Jim" Ignatowski: What... does... the... yellow... light... mean?
- Bobby Wheeler: "Slow down"!
- "Reverend Jim" Ignatowski: Whaaaat... dooooeeees... theeeee... yeeeel-looowwww... liiiiight... meeeeaaan?
- "Reverend" Jim Ignatowski: I went to Woodstock.
- Bobby Wheeler: Oh yeah? You went to Woodstock?
- "Reverend" Jim Ignatowski: Yep, half a million people gathered together in peace and harmony, grooving to Joni and The Who... hey, you know, if I hadn't gone, there would have only been 499,999 people... lucky for them I went.
- "Reverend" Jim Ignatowski: If you find yourself in a confusing situation, simply laugh knowingly and walk away.
- Elaine Nardo: Jim, what are you doing here? Where did this model castle come from?
- "Reverend Jim" Ignatowski: It's yours, I made it for you. See Elaine, your fairy tale can come true. Look here's your Castle, and your Prince awaits. Elaine, I know I'm not the most glamorous guy in the world but...
- Elaine Nardo: You are truly a sweet decent man.
- "Reverend Jim" Ignatowski: Once there was a time when that was enough.
- "Reverend Jim" Ignatowski: Hey, Alex - You know the really great thing about television? If something important happens, anywhere in the world, night or day... you can always change the channel.
- [while filling out an application]
- Bobby Wheeler: Mental illness or narcotic addiction?
- "Reverend Jim" Ignatowski: Now that's a tough choice...
- Bobby Wheeler: We were wondering if you would join us for a few minutes?
- "Reverend" Jim Ignatowski: Well, what did you decide?
- [On boxing]
- "Reverend" Jim Ignatowski: The ability to witness two men stand toe to toe in the spirit of sportsmanship and pummel each other into insensibility is what separates us from the animals.
- Alex Rieger: Jim, when are you finally going to have some pride and stand up for yourself?
- "Reverend" Jim Ignatowski: August!
- Louie De Palma: Ignatowski! Where have you been all week?
- "Reverend" Jim Ignatowski: I don't work weekends.
- Louie De Palma: You been gone nine days!
- "Reverend" Jim Ignatowski: Yeah...
- Tony Banta: Jim, weekends are only two days.
- "Reverend" Jim Ignatowski: Oh, I thought we'd switched to the metric system.
- [filling out a form]
- "Reverend" Jim Ignatowski: Eyes...
- Elaine Nardo: No, don't put two.
- "Reverend" Jim Ignatowski: Oh, they mean color, don't they?
- [in the mountains, Jim hits his head]
- Alex Rieger: Jim, are you alright?
- "Reverend" Jim Ignatowski: Yeah... who are you?
- Alex Rieger: I'm Alex. We're friends, we work together.
- "Reverend" Jim Ignatowski: What are we, lumberjacks?
- Alex Rieger: No, we're cabdrivers.
- "Reverend" Jim Ignatowski: I bet we don't do much business up here!
- Alex Rieger: Why'd you change your name to Ignatowski?
- "Reverend" Jim Ignatowski: Try saying it backwards.
- Bobby Wheeler: Ix-wah-tangy.
- "Reverend" Jim Ignatowski: That's nowhere near Starchild, is it?
- "Reverend" Jim Ignatowski: What did you win that trophy for?
- Alex Rieger: For making a fool of myself.
- "Reverend" Jim Ignatowski: Why doesn't anyone tell me about contests like that?
- "Reverend" Jim Ignatowski: I wonder about things, like, if they call an orange an "orange," then why don't we call a banana a "yellow" or an apple a "red"? Blueberries, I understand. But will someone explain gooseberries to me?
- Louie De Palma: Jim, your father is no longer with us.
- "Reverend" Jim Ignatowski: He never was. He lives in Boston.
- Louie De Palma: No, I mean, he's gone on to his final resting place.
- "Reverend" Jim Ignatowski: A condo in Palm Beach?
- "Reverend" Jim Ignatowski: Yeah, I did some drugs, though probably not as many as you think. How many drugs do you think I did?
- Elaine Nardo: A lot.
- "Reverend" Jim Ignatowski: Wow! Right on the nose!
- Tony Banta: You mean, they didn't tell you they were going to tear down your apartment building?
- "Reverend" Jim Ignatowski: Well, you put up with a few minor inconveniences when you live in a condemned building.
- [about Woodstock]
- "Reverend" Jim Ignatowski: I wore flowers in my hair and meditated for hours on end. I was finding God all over the place... He kept ditching me.
- Alex Rieger: Jim, when I said you were a flake, I meant you'd done some weird things.
- "Reverend" Jim Ignatowski: Name one.
- Alex Rieger: You lived in a condemned building for five years.
- "Reverend" Jim Ignatowski: You're confusing flakiness with style!
- Alex Rieger: You kept a horse named Gary in your bedroom.
- "Reverend" Jim Ignatowski: Not everyone has a guest room, Alex.