Adventures of a Plumber's Mate

Concept: Concoct a vile, decrepit story that everyone hates and thinks dire. Make a film called 'Plumber's Mate' out of it, and cram it so full of recognisable, popular names off the tv, that an audience will forgive and forget how atrocious it is.

You can see the flaw straight away.

'Plumber's Mate' (arf!) is so bad. Said tv stalwarts - Lewis, Mullard, Biggins, Rushton - trying to force their bits to be funny is cruel.

What Elaine Paige is doing here (she later tried desperately to pretend she wasn't) is a poser all on it's own.

Sid South (!), an interminably fick Jack-the-lad type, has japes with nightie-clad housewives on his plumbing round.

Anyway, enough of the plot .. In fact, enough of the review! There isn't one good thing about 'Plumber's Mate'. Acting, script, sets, cinematography, music all stink. And it's as funny as spina bifida.

For extra depression, take a look at the INCREDIBLE cast of it's almost-as-horrid predecessor ..

This is a run of the mill British farce with lots of British sex. The Italians make sex look wholesome, the French make it erotic, the Americans make it dirty but the Brits laugh about it. Lots of nude ladies and I lost count of the bare boobs. But it's all quite harmless and fun, done in that "No Sex Please We're British" style. This movie won't win critical raves or film festival honours. But I happened to be alone all weekend and it was just the ticket Saturday night with a beer and a bag of chips (crisps?) after a hard day of laying wooden flooring. It's silly and saucy in the best British tradition.

What happened here? The first two movies in the ADVENTURES OF... series were quite funny. Yet somehow a trilogy was formed when the series was tied up with this painfully unfunny movie. It comes as no surprise that the series ended here and no fourth movie was made.

As another person has commented on this page, this movie has a dreary, depressing tone hanging over it. I would like to add that the first two movies were nothing like this. Indeed, from seeing the first two, you would never guess Britain had descended to harsh economic times. In this movie, it's all too clear with its constant reminders of debt, unlikeable aggressive characters, nasty unrepentant officials and painful lack of humour.

What happened to Christopher Neil? His character in ADVENTURES OF A PRIVATE EYE was a very funny and likable accident-prone. I thought his performance in that movie was even better than that of Barry Evans in ADVENTURES OF A TAXI DRIVER. In ADVENTURES OF A PLUMBER'S MATE, Christopher Neil seems to be sleepwalking his way through the movie, he didn't seem to enjoy being here and unlike the previous movie, his character was more annoying than likable and none of the ideas funny on paper were funny on the screen.

As if the lead actor weren't bad enough, some first-rate supporting talent is wasted as well.

Arthur Mullard plays a Mr. Big type character but he was too overly aggressive to be funny. Mr. Mullard deserved better than this. Jerold Wells was equally wasted as his sidekick who was given nothing to do other than stand around looking dumb. Mr. Wells had more fun on THE BENNY HILL SHOW and his great cameo in VAULT OF HORROR.

Willie Rushton is also wasted as a quick-buck artist who allocates a number of jobs to the main character to help him pay off debts. His performance here was completely uninspired (who could blame him?) and a long way departed from KEEP IT UP DOWNSTAIRS or ADVENTURES OF A PRIVATE EYE.

Suzy Mandell, a veteran of British sex comedies is wasted in a role as a tennis player whose only purpose is to get her kit off and go in the shower. Unlike movies such as COME PLAY WITH ME and INTIMATE GAMES, she is given nothing to do or say that is in the least bit funny. For those who want to see Miss Mandell full-frontal nude, the two mentioned movies will deliver whereas this one doesn't.

But perhaps the most criminal waste of talent here is Stephen Lewis. He plays the boss of the main character and is in full Blakey mode. Not even he could save this movie. Not even the funniest person from the ON THE BUSES franchise could make me laugh here. This is how bad this movie was.

On a positive note, Anna Quayle has a good time with her character, who is the owner of a club or something like that. She has a few funny lines and is backed up by Christopher Biggins, who also has a good time.

The only genuine standout on the cameo list is Claire Davenport who raises a laugh or two as a battleaxe-type masseuse who handles her clients very roughly. Her scene was funny but it couldn't save this movie.

All in all, this is a colossal disappointment for anyone who has seen the first two entries in this series. It brings a sad end to a franchise that was moderately funny in saucy British tradition. My recommendation is to stick to the first two movies and disregard this one as though it doesn't exist.

For once, a protagonist who doesn't smoke! I swear, they love their cigarettes in Great Britain, and it seemed in every sex comedy, someone is lighting up.

One of the movies from the British-made "Adventures" series, this one is actually a good one. A likeable Lothario plumber named Sid is having trouble paying the bookies and must get 1000 pounds paid to them or "else". In between plumbing jobs, he works for a small-time crime boss who gives him "jobs" to do, and they all go wrong for him. As with all movies in this series, people go naked, but here, there aren't any sex scenes for once, but there are some funny scenes created from the situations the plumber gets into.

Stephen Lewis, who played Inspector Blakey from "On The Buses", has a small role as Sid's boss, the aptly named B.A. Crapper. Yes, this is a very British film, with some people's accents being very difficult to decipher, but it's still worth seeing, although it's probably unavailable in the U.S. If you live in a British Commonwealth country, you'll find it.

The third and last of director Stanley Long's 'Adventures of...' sex comedies, Plumber's Mate sees Christopher Neil once again taking the lead, this time as opportunistic, randy, Jack-the-lad Sidney South, who, up to his neck in debt and facing a severe pummelling, takes on a series of illegal jobs to try and earn some much needed readies. Meanwhile, a gangster and his crony want a word with Sid about a missing toilet seat that is far more valuable than it seems...

Another attempt by Long to emulate the success of the popular Confessions series, Plumber's mate misses the mark thanks to a lack of decent laughs and a central character who is nowhere near as lovable as Robin Askwith's hapless chump Timmy Lea: as amiable as he may seem, Sid is still a gambler, a misogynistic love-rat, and a petty criminal, willing to flout serious laws in order to save his own bacon. It's hard to side with such a no-hoper, or to find his desperate antics all that hilarious.

That said, while nowhere near as funny or as good-natured as the convivial Confessions films, Plumber's Mate still manages to be mildly diverting nonsense thanks to its endless stream of full-on nudity from a bevy of beauties, and a fun supporting cast that features many faces that will be all too familiar to fans of 70s British TV (Stephen 'Blakey' Lewis, Willie Rushton, Elaine Paige, Arthur Mullard, and Christopher Biggins, to name but a few).

4.5/10, rounded up to 5 for IMDb.