Bog

There must be many different ways to look at BOG. I, however, can't find any of them. One has to wonder why the creators of this cinematic gem never chose to insert a "The" before the title, why an actress obviously plays two parts, or why the titular "bog" in question is actually a lake. Possibly the only defining moments in this film can be seen during the preview. Pay special attention to the cop who, completely off-cue, screams out "Look, look! Hey, look over there! Look!" Now there's some classic dialogue.

I purchased the movie as I am a devout fan of Gloria DeHaven and had never even heard of it before. From the first scene I became aware of the poor quality of the film (which was factory-sealed) and also the mundane acting. The scary parts were just plain stupid. Gloria DeHaven was good in her roll as Ginny and the love story line was pat. I just couldn't believe that an actress of her quality could have stooped to such a clunker. I was also aggravated that I couldn't find a date anywhere on the tape. I knew by the cars and fashions that it had been done in the 70's, but the date on the cover said 1988. Not possible. Was this monstrosity ever released in theaters? Dear God who would have paid to see it? Looked like the most low-budget horror flick ever!!

Intermittently fun but mostly tedious monster movie concerns a mysterious lake organism that's draining its victims of blood.

Local sheriff (Ray) struggles to contain the rapidly rising body count whilst romantically repressed boffins DeHaven and Thompson run the battery of tests, then engage in speculative scientific babble that gets them into such a lather they just can't resist one another a moment longer.

Despite the premise, this DIY eco-horror soap opera is virtually bloodless and spends too long in the lab and not enough time invested in building suspense whilst the special effects department is sorely lacking. Case in point, the scuba-diving scene is reasonably tense, but like the rest of the film it fails to realise its inherent potential, instead leading us back to more lab tests and banal hypotheses that evoke 'Creature from the Black Lagoon' on an 'Octaman' budget.

There's also a rather bizarre plot development akin to the contemporary 'Humanoids of the Deep' ('quick, before it infuses her!') which makes 'Bog' an even murkier proposition.

Technically competent, with a catchy easy-listening folk song theme ('Walk with Me' by Patricia Hopkins), the dialogue is regularly laborious but despite the tedious pacing and 50s sci-fi aesthetic there's just enough 'so bad it's good' capital to prove worthwhile for the ardent monster-movie aficionado.

"Bog" is quite similar to, and instantly reminded me of "Croaked: Frog Monster from Hell". Both movies were filmed in the rural Wisconsin regions during the mid-70's ("Bog" didn't get released until the early 1980's) and they are both … well … abominable! That is to say, they're bad but somehow irresistibly charming, cheesy and entertaining as the same time. And, for some strange coincidental reason, these movies also just happen to have the two greatest taglines ever in the horror film industry! For "Croaked" the tagline was: "This time the frog dissects you" and the DVD-cover of "Bog" proclaims the tagline: "Who's the bait now?" That's good stuff.

The film neatly follows the familiar monster-movie routine. Some type of ancient creature that has been lying dormant on the bottom of a desolate lake gets awakened in a banal fashion (local fishermen using dynamite instead of regular bait) and begins to devour everyone in the area. This particular beastie entirely drains the blood out of his victims' bodies and leaves the complete lake town community baffled and scared. The awesome Aldo Ray stars as the heroic and quite fearless local sheriff who can't prevent the bodies in his town from piling up and "Bog" also stars two other veterans in the roles of forensic scientists; namely Gloria DeHaven ("Summer Stock" and Marshall Thompson ("It! The Terror from beyond Space"). They can't seem to figure out what kind of dangerous species they're dealing with, but perhaps that's because they're too busy falling in love. The scenes in which senior citizens Adriana and Dr. Wednesday interrupt their investigation of the organic tissue under their microscopes in order to declare their love and affection for each other are unintentionally funny, misfit and rather awkward. It takes more than a full hour before we get a proper impression of the monster. Before that, we just hear it growl and have to derive from the petrified expression of its victims' faces that it must be one hideous beast. Still, it's plain obvious that "Bog" is an incredibly low-budgeted and amateurish horror romp, so likewise for the monster design. The creature actually even looks more imbecilic and less scary than the monsters in those zero-budgeted 1950's movies, like "Attack of the Giant Leeches", "The Beast from Haunted Cave" and "The Giant Gila Monster". The thing has enormous eyes and his arms look like an over-sized crab. According to the trivia section, the guy in the suit was 6ft7 and weighed nearly 250pds. One final remark I just have to make: I seriously wonder how many gallons of booze were consumed during the production of "Bog". The first victims, two fishermen and their wives, drink beers non-stop. Even during their police interrogations! And also every dialog with good-old Sheriff Aldo Ray ends with the words "I could sure use a drink right now…".

Bog is a RIOT! I watched it twice in one week after I figured out what a PERFECT bad movie it is. This movie has everything a bad movie should. In parts it is reminiscent of both Pod People and Giant Spider Invasion. It has crazy hermits that talk like cartoon characters, bumbling outdoorsy city husbands who lose their wives to the mysterious creature and take off after it with whatever firearms they can muster up, a creepy old livin'-in-the-woods-tellin'-fortunes lady, a sheriff who says such wonderful things as "hypodeemic nerdle" instead of hypodermic needle, and... well you get the picture. Perfect MST3K fodder!!!