Release calendarTop 250 moviesMost popular moviesBrowse movies by genreTop box officeShowtimes & ticketsMovie newsIndia movie spotlight
    What's on TV & streamingTop 250 TV showsMost popular TV showsBrowse TV shows by genreTV news
    What to watchLatest trailersIMDb OriginalsIMDb PicksIMDb SpotlightFamily entertainment guideIMDb Podcasts
    OscarsEmmysToronto Int'l Film FestivalHispanic Heritage MonthIMDb Stars to WatchSTARmeter AwardsAwards CentralFestival CentralAll events
    Born todayMost popular celebsCelebrity news
    Help centerContributor zonePolls
For industry professionals
  • Language
  • Fully supported
  • English (United States)
    Partially supported
  • Français (Canada)
  • Français (France)
  • Deutsch (Deutschland)
  • हिंदी (भारत)
  • Italiano (Italia)
  • Português (Brasil)
  • Español (España)
  • Español (México)
Watchlist
Sign in
  • Fully supported
  • English (United States)
    Partially supported
  • Français (Canada)
  • Français (France)
  • Deutsch (Deutschland)
  • हिंदी (भारत)
  • Italiano (Italia)
  • Português (Brasil)
  • Español (España)
  • Español (México)
Use app
Back
  • Cast & crew
  • User reviews
  • Trivia
  • FAQ
IMDbPro
Ann-Margret, Stockard Channing, Peter Falk, Dom DeLuise, Louise Fletcher, Madeline Kahn, John Houseman, Eileen Brennan, Sid Caesar, James Coco, Fernando Lamas, Marsha Mason, Phil Silvers, Paul Williams, and Nicol Williamson in The Cheap Detective (1978)

Stockard Channing: Bess

The Cheap Detective

Stockard Channing credited as playing...

Bess

Photos2

View Poster
View Poster

Quotes3

  • Bess: You have a visitor in there, a Miss Sophie De Vega.
  • Lou Peckinpaugh: Pretty?
  • Bess: Prettier than me, but I'm easier.
  • Lou Peckinpaugh: I'm saving you for the rainy season.
  • Lou Peckinpaugh: Don't be stubborn, you crazy Frenchman. Time is on their side!
  • Bess: I don't think he's being stubborn - I think he's being dead!
  • Lou Peckinpaugh: Just once I'd like to see somebody die *regular* on this case!
  • Bess: Hold onto your hat. Vladimir Tserijemiwtz is Ezra C.V. Mildew Dezire Jr.!
  • Lou Peckinpaugh: Wait a minute. Tserijemiwtz has two T's. The name you come up with don't have none.
  • Bess: That was the whole key. Some people spell the Czar of Russia T-S-A-R. But in America we spell it C-Z-A-R.
  • Lou Peckinpaugh: Any fool knows that.
  • Bess: So when I tried the American spelling, I came up with Ezra...
  • Bess, Lou Peckinpaugh: ...C.V. Mildew Dezire Jr.!
  • Lou Peckinpaugh: Of course! - Who the hell is he?
  • Bess: The owner of the Golden Gate Bridge.
  • Lou Peckinpaugh: Right. You did fine, angel. Now forget you ever heard that name. Don't ever repeat it to anyone.
  • [the phone rings]
  • Bess: [into phone] Hello? - Yes, he is. Who's calling, please?
  • [to Lou]
  • Bess: It's him! Ezra C.V. Mildew Dezire Jr.!
  • Lou Peckinpaugh: I told you not to repeat it!

More from this title

More to explore

Recently viewed

Please enable browser cookies to use this feature. Learn more.
Get the IMDb App
Sign in for more accessSign in for more access
Follow IMDb on social
Get the IMDb App
For Android and iOS
Get the IMDb App
  • Help
  • Site Index
  • IMDbPro
  • Box Office Mojo
  • License IMDb Data
  • Press Room
  • Advertising
  • Jobs
  • Conditions of Use
  • Privacy Policy
  • Your Ads Privacy Choices
IMDb, an Amazon company

© 1990-2025 by IMDb.com, Inc.