The Norseman

I tend to cut movies a lot of slack, since I believe that the more sophisticated our movie-making abilities become the less people tend to use their imaginations. I bought a used VHS copy of "The Norseman," and watching it as an adult I actually enjoyed it. Sure, it's not a well-made movie, but it's a sad fact of life that often the smarter we get, the more jaded we get. I suspect the reason one viewer enjoyed the movie at ten and hated it as an adult is that watching it through eyes of childlike wonder he was able to suspend disbelief and see the movie's real meaning.

Besides, what's so "laughably stupid" about the plot, a conflict between Vikings and Native Americans? There is pretty good evidence that the Vikings were in North America; ever hear of Vinland? And as for the "black Viking," that was probably a pandering to '70s social consciousness; but still, could they not have picked up an African man in their travels? Everyone has their tastes, but I found this movie's theme unique and intriguing.

Plastic/aluminium armour. Knight's armour on Thorvold and a LoneRanger mask, under his knights helm. Black vikings, white Native Americans...of course the largest insult is that this dreck was filmed in Florida, as evidenced by the foliage and the sugar white sand on the beach. I don't remember Vikings ever landing in Tampa, unless it was in a football game.

I won't even address the little mustache worn by Mr. Majors, as compared to the full beards of his 'Viking' co-horts.

This is a film you can't believe you are watching, yet won't turn off, because you can't look away.

Of course the climax of the film has the 'Vikings' running through water on a sandbar...anyone watching, who is familiar with Lee Majors as the "Six Million Dollar Man" will find themselves waiting to hear the music/sound effects that accompanied 'Steve Austin' whenever he was performing his feats of strength, or running to save the day.

All this film needed was BigFoot.

Isn't always sad to rediscover a memory from your childhood that you treasured greatly, but then finding it as an adult, and not being able to figure out how in the hell you possibly could have liked it in the first place. That's how I felt upon seeing this movie a while back. I can recall vividly when I went and saw this movie when I was ten, and my friends and I being blown away by it. In fact I saw it three times in one week. (no lie) When I saw it last, I pondered how could I not have seen the FATAL miscasting of Lee Majors. How I overlooked the black(!?) viking. Why did I not conceive that the plot for this was so laughably stupid (Vikings vs. American Indians). Sigh, it's a sad fact of life, the smarter you get, the DUMBER you realize you were.

I am sitting at home watching THE NORSEMAN on TV, trying to pick my incredulous chin up off the floor. This movie must be seen by film students so they can learn everything NOT to do in making a movie. For example: Lee Majors (THORVALD) and the boy playing his Norse son deliver arch dialog in southern American accents...The Caucasian looking Indians with perfect Herbal Essence hairstyles...and perfect teeth..(that tribe must have a really good dental plan) Lee Majors sports a late 1970's mustache and hair style...He probably was on hiatus from a series and refused to restyle his hair...The Max Factor warpaint on the Indians' faces...and the lack of "Light Egyptian" on their bodies...Irish actress, Kathleen Freeman, as an old Indian woman... The "ultra realistic" Canadian location (NOT!), complete with palm trees and Spanish Moss... How did they get the money to make this thing? Where can I get some for my films??? This film is like a train wreck....painful to watch but absolutely riveting in its awfulness. The only area that deserves praise is the cinematography...the exteriors look pretty good... the cinematographer must have picked up the gig to pay for a fishing expedition or a vacation to Hawaii... In the words of many a great Norseman, .....Oy Vey!!!

A treasure trove of anachronism, continuity errors and baaaaaaaaaad acting. So bad it's wonderful. Who knew there were black vikings, or that vikings wore wristwatches? A genuine treat. You'll laugh your butt off.