Vincent Beck credited as playing...
Officer Leary
- [Officer Leary is on the witness stand]
- Officer Leary: I told him to move on, but he continued to use profanity and he refused to leave the premises.
- Judge Rayford: What sort of profanity?
- Officer Leary: You know, the normal kind.
- Judge Rayford: Officer Leary, we've all heard these words before, now for the record what did he say?
- Officer Leary: [uncomfortably] He used... "fuck" a lot.
- [quiet laughter from the gallery]
- Officer Leary: ..."piss on you"...
- [more laughter]
- Officer Leary: ...then said he was gonna... "bung-hole the short order chef"... "cream on the waitress"...
- [more laughter]
- Officer Leary: ...stuff like that, Your Honor.
- Dapper Defendant: There's a very good reason for all of that, Your Honor.
- Judge Rayford: Oh? What is that?
- Dapper Defendant: I'm a diabetic.
- [loud laughter from the gallery]
- Judge Rayford: I fail to see the connection. I've never heard of diabetes causing foul language!
- Dapper Defendant: That's because you're a douchebag.
- [entire courtroom erupts into laughter, including Officer Leary before he catches himself and forces a poker face]