J.A. Preston credited as playing...
Dr. Ted Cleary
- Albert Brooks: You know, I'm wondering if maybe you're a little uncomfortable because... Well, you know, it's Phoenix and you're... The only... Well, you know. There's not a, a lot of... It's Phoenix. There's... You know what I'm trying to say? You're, you're... You're the only...
- Dr. Ted Cleary: Albert, you have more trouble dealing with a black person than any white man I have ever met.
- Albert Brooks: I beg your pardon?
- Dr. Ted Cleary: Hey, black meets white.
- Albert Brooks: Ted, I'm not trying to do anything. I'm just trying to tune in on your particular level of anxiety. That's all.
- Dr. Ted Cleary: [trying to sound scary] Boogie! Boogie! Boo!
- Albert Brooks: Ted, stop distorting... no, I'm not black, nor do I claim to be. Yes, theres fears, misunderstandings and all that other mumbo-jumbo, but they should have nothing to do with this project. I know more than anybody else that you people are gonna take over the earth, okay? You're stronger, faster. You use heat better. You've got the whole next century wrapped up. I know Africa. It's seething. Boom! There it goes. But it shouldn't stand in the way of this film. We're working as a team. We should put all that other stuff on the back burner.
- Dr. Ted Cleary: [imitating a slave] Yeah! We can put all dat on the back burner! Let me go in the kitchen and check on the burner now.
- Albert Brooks: See? I find that insulting, Ted. I find that insulting. I never said you talked like that. That's why people like Jonas Salk think comedians are jerks.
- Albert Brooks: I think we're very much alike. See that's why we can get into these kind of debates. I think you'd be surprised at much alike we really are.
- Dr. Ted Cleary: I'd be more than surprised. I'd be suicidal.