Ben Gazzara credited as playing...
Jack Flowers
- Jack Flowers: Are you that interested?
- William Leigh: Oh, no, no, no. But, in point of actual face, I was wondering if...
- Jack Flowers: Now, don't be shy.
- William Leigh: Yeah, well, I wouldn't want to...
- Jack Flowers: Come on, shoot. I mean, the choice isn't very big. Most people don't realize that. It boils down to five. There's boys, girls, dirty pictures, exhibition, massage, a combination there of. Now, what did you have in mind?
- William Leigh: What I - I'd like to get a - game of squash.
- William Leigh: You're not a squash player yourself, by any chance, are you?
- Jack Flowers: No, Bill. I drink. Do you drink?
- William Leigh: Well, I - *William*.
- Jack Flowers: William.
- William Leigh: Well, I take the odd drop.
- Jack Flowers: Who's that black girl, Judy, that just left.
- Judy: She's so beautiful.
- Jack Flowers: That she is.
- Judy: The first time I saw her I just put my hands on her face.
- William Leigh: You're a ponce, aren't you?
- Jack Flowers: Hard to say what anyone is.
- William Leigh: I only mention it because, personally, I could never bring myself to pay.
- Jack Flowers: William, people make love for so many crazy reasons, why shouldn't money be one of them?
- Eddie Schuman: Beautiful. Where's she from?
- Jack Flowers: Ceylon.
- Eddie Schuman: Ceylon. Yeah. They call it Sri Lanka now.
- Jack Flowers: Yeah, I know.
- Eddie Schuman: They screwed up all the names. Zanzibar. The Congo. Siam. Persia. All gone.
- Monika: Oh! God dammit, sari! Hate sari!
- Jack Flowers: Why the hell do you wear them?
- Monika: Men like. Stupid!
- Jack Flowers: Me, I just want a yacht, a big mansion, a peacock or something to guard me, you know, walk around all day with a bowler hat, silk pajamas, play golf, smoke real Havanas. Who knows.
- William Leigh: Why do you stay on there?
- Jack Flowers: He's my visa! I can't exactly go to the Immigration and say, "Occupation: Running a Wang House."
- William Leigh: I'm terribly sorry.
- Jack Flowers: Will you quit apologizing. A fucking English national pastime.
- William Leigh: It's all we got left.
- Jack Flowers: You're going to love it. You're going to love it. You got to get yourself a Thai massage. You know what that is?
- Wichita Falls: What the hell is that?
- Jack Flowers: That's where two women soap themselves up, one works the front, the other works the back. You're a sandwich!
- Jack Flowers: Cloak and dagger, Eddie. Why couldn't you talk to me on the phone?
- Eddie Schuman: There's a guy going to Saigon next week. To check out the withdrawal. A politician. Family man, couple of kids. Democrat.
- Jack Flowers: Yeah? So?
- Eddie Schuman: Well... Some people think he's too opinionated. They'd like something to put him in his place.
- Jack Flowers: Like what?
- Eddie Schuman: Pictures, tapes... whatever.
- Jack Flowers: For a minute there I thought you were going to ask me to kill him.
- Eddie Schuman: You're not that desperate, are you?
- Jack Flowers: Some people when they're desperate they think about suicide. Me, I'm different. I think about murder... This stinks Eddie. You know that.
- Jack Flowers: Now, the Chinese, they go for Australian girls, y'know, big-boned. The Germans usually go for Tamils. The English they don't give a damn as long as they're young and boyish, isn't that right, Colonel?
- Col. Gunstone: Indubitably.
- Jack Flowers: But the Americans, they do a lot of hugging-up in taxis, y'know. When they go home they write letters. Girls are always after me to help them answer 'em.
- Monika: You Italian?
- Jack Flowers: Yeah, that's right.
- Monika: Italian: Good lover. Bad husband.
- Jack Flowers: Yeah?
- Monika: Yeah!
- Jack Flowers: That's what my mother always said.
- Katie Horner: What are you doing at the Raffles, Jack? Slumming?
- Jack Flowers: You're lookin' good.
- Katie Horner: Don't sound so surprised.
- Jack Flowers: Some people, when they're desperate, they think about suicide. Me, I'm different. I think about murder.
- Jack Flowers: Do you know how Singapore got its name, William?
- William Leigh: Huh uh.
- Jack Flowers: Well, uh, it was nothing but jungle, you know...
- William Leigh: Yes.
- Jack Flowers: Nobody ever crossed over it. Then one day, this Hindu prince, he rows over with a big bunch of people. A hunting party. They were gonna' shoot some deer, with bows and arrows, all that. And, uh, they traipsed around a while... and, wait a minute! What do they spot? What? A tiger. Then they spot another tiger. And then some more tigers. They were up to their asses in tigers!
- [starts to chuckle]
- Jack Flowers: So they run. They run like hell, you know? They hop back in their boats, they row away, and the prince says, "Boy! That place is something! I'm gonna' name it! I'm gonna' call it 'Singapura' - Lion City". Lion City!
- William Leigh: I thought you said they were tigers?
- Jack Flowers: Well, that's right! That's right. That's the point of the story, William. The dummy couldn't tell a tiger from a lion.
- William Leigh: That's very funny.
- Jack Flowers: What can you expect of a place that got started like that?
- William Leigh: Quite.