Galaxina

Low budget "Barbarella" knock-off manages to be watchable, but is nowhere as funny as it thinks it is. Dorothy Stratten plays the sexy robot Galaxina on a ship of space intergalactic cops patrolling the universe. While the crew is asleep, Galaxina reprograms herself to be more human. Romantic entanglements ensure. Later their ship is sent to recover a mysterious crystal on a planet that resembles the old west, which is a goofily entertaining of genre mash-up. The film mostly wants to operate as a sci-fi spoof of "Star Trek," "Alien," any number of other films in the vein of Mel Brooks, but it's nowhere as clever as Brooks or a Zucker/Abrams/Zucker parody film. Also, the film suffers from being too overt of a sex comedy, which worked much better in "Barbarella," where director Roger Vadim kept the film sexy but also somewhat innocent, where in "Galaxina" it just feels leering and creepy. Despite it's many deficiencies, Stratten demonstrates real star power in a ridiculous film, much like Jane Fonda in "Barbarella," and as bad as this film is, it did make me wish Stratten had gotten to make more films.

I first saw this film when I was very young, so my judgement may be clouded by youthful rose-tinted glasses ... but what the hell, I like this flick. Call me inane, puerile, sophomoric, or just plain stupid, but I laughed (and STILL do!) whenever the soundtrack does that DOO-WAH whenever the Blue Star (I'm gracing it with caps) is mentioned. I beg anyone who likes this film to seek out the budget UK PAL region 0 DVD release of this film, as it features the full uncut (and indeed this film WAS shorn of some 10 minutes of non-essential footage in some prints, including the Rhino DVD), which to boot is presented in full 2.35:1 widescreen in a jaw-droppingly pristine transfer - for my money it was gleaned from the original negative. If not, YOU explain why it looks like it was shot yesterday. Compared to more recent DTV sci-fi parodies, Galaxina holds up well and deserves a re-appraisal... but see the uncut widescreen version first!

Many people are devastated after seeing this movie, saying: how can something be so terribly un-funny? The reason for this total disaster is simple: if you want to do a science fiction parody, you have to understand the rules by which the genre works. John Carpenter did a brilliant comedy with a budget even lower than Galaxina, "Dark Star". He was familiar with the rules of the genre, that's why it worked. "Galaxy Quest" had a few hilariously funny scenes, because the movie was referring to all the cliches of SF. The people who are responsible for Galaxina obviously had no real love for the genre, it was just a futuristic setting but no substance and no concept, thus the movie became entirely empty. Empty of anything: acting, story, fun, thrill... Avoid this void.

A strange thing happened the day after I saw Galaxina, back when it was released. The movie is a spoof of sci-fi movies and is full of jokes, puns and sight gags; but I just sat there in the theater and never laughed once. Or, more accurately, I didn't feel the least tickle of amusement. It was more like a string of detached observations of, "Ah, that joke flopped badly." If it had been a live performance, there would have been those crushing dead silences every time the actors paused to allow reactions to their jokes.

The next night, at a party, I was trying describe just how bad the movie really was. This involved, in part, telling several of the jokes. Surprisingly, my listeners laughed at them. I could flatter myself and claim that I'm such a hot comic that I could get laughs even reading the obituaries out loud. But that ain't so. Let's just say that I gave the jokes a mildly competent delivery... and that's what Galaxina didn't do.

Now, a work of genius is indefinable. No matter how much you analyze it, you can never quite pin down why it is so exceptional, while another film - with all the same objective attributes - is merely competent. The same is true of transcendent badness. The world is full of bad movies, with the same objective failures in budget, acting, writing and directing. But Galaxina is loaded with subtle catastrophes. There are nuances that extract the worst possible effect from so many scenes. And I can't quite figure out how it was done. Without this quality Galaxina might actually have ended up acceptably incompetent, a fun cheapo film, and gotten the laughs I did from its jokes.

I bought this for £1 on DVD and it got left on my shelf for AGES till I decided to unwrap it and watch it in an effort to get through all the unwatched films in my collection.

The movie didn't start out that promising it and not that funny. You could see the jokes were there but most just didn't work (although I did find anything that came out of Sam Wo's mouth quite funny), as the film gets on the jokes do get better and it's just something you have to get into.

This film is probably best left to those who can stand(or do I mean enjoy) the work of Empire pictures as this will give you an idea of the kind of stuff to expect.

It's not a laugh riot, it's not a classic, but there are some very funny lines in there and interesting visuals. But ultimately I guess it could have been a lot better. I think it may grow on me after a few watches and maybe I could convince some of my friends to watch it too. 4/10