Marius Weyers credited as playing...
Andrew Steyn
- Mpudi: [looking at Steyn in a suit] And why are you so beautiful?
- Steyn: I'm going to the school to give her these.
- Mpudi: You gonna look like that?
- Steyn: Like what?
- Mpudi: Like it's a funeral. You've gotta smile, man, and tell her she looks good.
- Steyn: How come suddenly you're an expert on women?
- Mpudi: I got seven wives. How many you got?
- Steyn: So why aren't you at home with your seven wives?
- Mpudi: I know how to marry them. Nobody knows how to live with them.
- Steyn: So, what did you marry them for?
- Mpudi: Someday I have to tell you the facts of life...
- Steyn: Morning, Miss Thompson.
- Kate Thompson: Morning.
- Steyn: How are you?
- Kate Thompson: Fine, thanks. How are you?
- Steyn: Fine, thanks, and how are you?
- [Mpudi groans]
- Kate Thompson: I'm fine, thank you.
- Steyn: Kate... I know you think I'm an idiot but I'm not really like that. It's only when I'm around wom... around you. I'm sorry. Normally, I'm quite normal. But whenever I'm in the presence of a lady my fingers turn into thumbs, my brain switches off...
- Kate Thompson: [Steyn drops the cup he's picked up, tries to catch it, and knocks it into Kate's face] Watch it!
- [Steyn crawls under a table to pick up the cup he's dropped, only to knock over several items on the table, including a bag of flour onto his face]
- Steyn: It's flour.
- Kate Thompson: I noticed.
- Steyn: [Tries to stand up but knocks the entire table over. He picks up the table and tries to pick up all the items and put them back on the table while he speaks, but is unsuccessful...] It's actually... actually, it's really only an interesting psychological phenomenon. Perhaps it's some Freudian syndrome. When I brought you your shoes, I came to apologize for the stupid things I did when I met you at Mabula. To explain that I'm not as stupid as that. But then, of course, I blew it, and I... so I don't blame you if you think... but it's really only an interesting psychological. When you get to know me better, you'll see that I'm not always stumbling. It's really just an interesting psychological phenomenon.
- Kate Thompson: Yes, you are a very interesting psychological phenomenon. And I think you're very sweet.
- [Kate kisses Steyn]
- [Xi bids Steyn and Mpudi farewell]
- Mpudi: He says thank you, and goodbye, and hopes you have lots of children.
- Steyn: Tell him thanks, and to take this...
- [holds out a wad of money]
- Mpudi: He can't use that stuff.
- Steyn: But I have to...
- Mpudi: Bushmen don't know about money.
- Steyn: [looking around] Well, what else can I give him...?
- Mpudi: There's nothing here he can use. Bushmen don't need these things.
- Steyn: But he's got to take the money, it's the law!
- [Steyn gives Xi the money, who bids them farewell and leaves. Later on, he throws the money away]
- Kate Thompson: Do you work here in Botswana?
- Steyn: Yes - I - yes. Yes.
- Kate Thompson: And what do you do?
- Steyn: I collect manure.
- Steyn: When I'm in the presence of a lady, my brain switches off or something. I turn into a complete idiot.
- The Reverend: I guess you ought to meet more women.
- Steyn: It only gets worse.
- Mpudi: You gonna look like that forever?
- Steyn: Like what?
- Mpudi: Like Jack Hind is a better man than you!
- Steyn: No. I'm going to talk to her.
- Mpudi: Yeah! Tell her YOU were the big hero!
- Steyn: [Paces back and forth, not noticing he's continually hitting his head on the lantern] No, I can't do that. But I do want to talk to her. I'll tell her, I'll say "Look, Miss Thompson. I know you think I'm an idiot, but normally I'm quite normal. It's only when I'm in the presence of a lady that I... It's really just an interesting psychological phenomenon. If a man who is susceptible to a type of para-Freudian syndrome like this encounters a nubile female, what happens?"
- Mpudi: I suppose another big word happens.
- Steyn: Too erudite?
- Mpudi: Yeah, whatever that means.
- Steyn: Okay. I'll put it more simply. I'll say, "Look, Miss Thompson... Kate, Kate... It's really only an interesting psychological phenomenon." She'll understand that bit, she's a schoolteacher. I'll say, "When there's no lady present, I can catch an insect without hurting it." If she knew me better, she'd see I'm not a stumblebum. All I need is a little practice. If I...
- [gets in the Land Rover while talking]
- Mpudi: Wait for me! You need some moral support!
- Steyn: I don't want to talk about it. She thinks I'm a lunatic and I don't blame her. You know, she asked me what do I do. And I say I collect manure. I don't tell her I analyze it for my doctoral thesis. I bet you she thinks I shovel the stuff.