Once Upon a Spy

One of those failed TV-pilots that then became a standalone TV-movie, ONCE UPON A SPY takes the James Bond aesthetic to the small screen, from formidable (and colorful) technical set pieces to a flaunting trumpet score to a former Bond villain in Christopher Lee, a brilliant computer mogul who, brain-wise, is second to none...

Well except for Ted Danson, turning in one of those "befuddled geeks who's really a handsome diamond-in-the rough/anti-leading-man" types... and it's no surprise, given his near-future turn in CHEERS, he has great comedic timing...

Perfectly paired with (and counterbalanced by) sublime ANIMAL HOUSE beauty Mary-Louise Weller, an Alpha Male-like female operative and, after getting Danson's Jack Chenault out of a stuffy office shared with his only friend, a computer the size of a wall, the action is pretty much non-stop...

So the peripheral world-dominating plot doesn't matters since it's the nifty Odd Couple duo... whether ripping around in a hot-rod on the ground or jumping out of planes in the air... that really matters, and this SPY would have made a genuinely good series (as the creators of REMINGTON STEELE would soon-after prove).

ONCE UPON A SPY is a deservedly unknown 1980 TV movie that stars up-and-coming Ted Danson as a computer programmer who unwittingly gets drawn into a spy plot that's straight out of a James Bond movie. And indeed this turns out to be a Bond spoof through-and-through, with the unfortunate added side-effect that it's also quite horrible.

Rarely have I seen a film in which the acting is so stilted or the narrative so predictable and boring at the same time. Danson displays none of the charisma that would make him a household name in time, and his attempts at flirting and romance with token blonde Mary Louise Weller are, to be frank, excruciating. ONCE UPON A SPY is truly a movie of its era, with cod attempts at feminism (think CHARLIE'S ANGELS style tough fighting women) mixed in with the normal "saving the girl" routines and some quite appalling jump suits that make the female cast look both fat and frumpy (although they're neither).

Bizarrely, Hammer scribe Jimmy Sangster had a hand in the screenplay, although quite what he was thinking I don't know. Keeping on the Hammer theme, we get Christopher Lee as the villain, riffing on his MAN WITH THE GOLDEN GUN persona. I felt sorry for him, soiled by his appearance in this; I remember his comments about breaking free of Hammer and making it in Hollywood, but even latter-day Hammer efforts like THE SATANIC RITES OF Dracula are a hundred times better than this trash. Definitely a film to be consigned to obscurity, and for good reason.

Neat little TV movie, in the spirit of "The Men From U.N.C.L.E." A pre-Cheers Ted Danson is partnered with an athletic female lead, and Christopher Lee is always good value as the villain. Former Hammer scribe Jimmy Sangster had a hand in the story.

This strangely endearing Movie of the Week features Ted Danson as a computer expert reluctantly pulled into the orbit of a mysterious American intelligence service run by grand dame Eleanor Parker. Parker needs his expertise to track down super villain Christopher Lee, a wheelchair bound businessman with his eye on world domination via a super weapon and control of commercial space satellites. Danson is teamed up with secret agent Mary Louise Weller, an attractive and almost believable actress who does her best with the rather hackneyed dialogue. Danson gets the best stuff from screenwriter Jimmy Sangster and shows why he went on to be one of America's favorite comic actors of the decade, and Lee seems to be having a grand time. Good fun if you're in the right mood.

Not great but there are some elements available today in 2021 (the film is made in 1980), they mention terms like "new world structure", "reset", "new order".

Ted Danson has neither salt nor pepper, the script is predictable and boring, Mary Louise Weller is beautiful and sexy in body-hugging costumes, either black or yellow. And Christopher Lee doesn't have the dominating force as in other movies. But his character fits Bill Gates perfectly.