Carmen Maura credited as playing...
Pepi
- Pepi: Don't worry. As long as we do our knitting classes, you'll get your slaps, just the way you like it, you crazy, dirty bitch.
- Luciana 'Luci': I'm all wet just thinking about it.
- Pepi: Lucky you, you bitch.
- Pepi: Cinema isn't life. Cinema is falsehood. They use a machine to make rain, because real rain can't be photographed.
- El policía: I live opposite one of those windows. I couldn't help noticing your plants.
- Pepi: Pretty, aren't they?
- El policía: Don't try to be clever with me. It's drugs. You must think I'm soft in the head.
- Pepi: Speaking of head, how do you like my little pussy?
- El policía: From here it looks - scrumptious.
- Pepi: Saul sold his firstborn for a plate of lentils. Wouldn't you turn a blind eye for a taste of this?
- Pepi: Give him a good kicking, but don't go too far. We don't want anyone to die. Now is not the time.
- El policía: Don't go all tight on me.
- Pepi: Can we do it from behind? I'm used to it that way.
- El policía: Pervert.
- Pepi: I'm a virgin. I'm not ready to lose my virtue.
- El policía: Shut your mouth, doll. I do things face-to-face.
- Luciana 'Luci': You're right. I need a good slap.
- Pepi: Well, that's your kind of thing.
- Luciana 'Luci': How did you guess?
- Pepi: Your eyes are shining, you dirty bitch.
- Luciana 'Luci': Some things you have to accept. That's why I married him. I thought that as a cop, he'd treat me like a dog. Some hope. He respects me like his mother.
- Luciana 'Luci': What will you do now?
- Pepi: I thought about selling my virginity, but I was raped, so that's no good.
- Luciana 'Luci': Well, at least you had some fun.
- Pepi: I'd have had much more fun with the 60,000 ptas I'd have sold it for.
- Maestro de ceremonias: And now for our competition: General Erections. Tonight's big surprise. In Erections, the guy with the biggest dick, the most slender, enormous, perfect dick, will be named king for the night, and can do whatever he wants, however he wants, and with whoever he wants. Does everyone agree? The result will be announced by our hostess, Pepi. A round of applause for Pepi. The result will also be decided by multiplying the length by the thickness. Pepi, with her calculator, will give us the results. Ready, guys? Are those bodies ready? Pepi, are you ready?
- Pepi: Ready!
- Maestro de ceremonias: Fantastic. Then let's begin General Erections.