Bruce MacDonald credited as playing...
Mike
- Chip Hollister: [to a police officer] Look, we didn't shoot the deer. We don't even have a gun!
- Chip Hollister: [to Mike and J. T] They think we shot the deer.
- [rolls his eyes]
- J.T.: How do you know it was shot, Mr. Hollister? No one said anything about a shooting.
- Mike Donnelly: It might've been knifed.
- J.T.: Or bludgeoned to death.
- Mike Donnelly: Or strangled with a silk stocking.
- J.T.: Or slowly poisoned.
- Mike Donnelly: You blew it, mister. You should've clammed up.
- J.T.: You're taking the fall, kid.
- Chip Hollister: Just as long as they don't search the car.
- Mike Donnelly: Oh, that's right. The glove compartment.
- J.T.: "Top aide nabbed in drug bust. Senator refuses comment."
- Chip Hollister: Give me a break!
- [Mike and J. T. laugh]
- [they sit in a row in the bar mimicking a sports racing announcer]
- Mike Donnelly: Sunday!
- Ron Desjardins: Sunday!
- Howie: Sunday!
- Mike Donnelly: At Washington Valley Speedway: thrills, chills, and spills!
- Ron Desjardins: [starts making racing car noises] Varoommmm!
- Howie: Nitro-burning funny cars!
- Mike Donnelly: Joey Chitwood and his Auto Daredevils!
- Howie: Special appearance by Big Daddy Roth!
- Mike Donnelly: You'll laugh, you'll scream, you'll cry!
- Ron Desjardins: Sunday!
- Mike Donnelly: Stocks and dragsters burning rubber in the biggest event of the season! This very Sunday!
- Ron Desjardins: Sunday!
- Howie: Sunday!
- Mike Donnelly: Sunday!
- Bartender: [voice-over] Howie!
- Howie: What?
- Bartender: It's your wife. The hotel's been calling.
- Howie: Oh... I gotta go. Catch you guys later.
- [he stands up and leaves]
- Mike Donnelly: [waving to him] Sunday!
- Frances Carlson: You know, I can't imagine you guys teaching. I mean, is it the same old stuff we got?
- Mike Donnelly: Well, I start the year with the Boston Police Strike.
- Irene Rosenblue: They let you teach *that*?
- Mike Donnelly: They let you teach just about anything, so long as you keep the students from knifing each other.
- [Mike is pretending to teach history class]
- J.T.: Mr. Donnelly?
- Mike Donnelly: Yes, J. T.?
- J.T.: Coach says that you got socialistic tendencies. Is that right, Mr. Donnelly?
- Mike Donnelly: Coach is a running dog imperialist, J. T. Don't listen to him. Alright, now, the rest of you: if the Boston police went on strike tomorrow, what would White and Dukakis do? Would there be riots in Southie?
- [Katie hands him a cracker and cheese]
- Mike Donnelly: Ah, it's Miss Sipriano from the English department.
- J.T.: Mr. Donnelly?
- Mike Donnelly: Yes, J. T.?
- J.T.: Coach says that you and Miss Sipriano are, uh, getting it on. Is that right, Mr. Donnelly?
- Mike Donnelly: Coach has a filthy, reactionary mind, J. T. Don't listen to him.
- Katie Sipriano: You guys are much too well-behaved. High school isn't what it used to be.
- Mike Donnelly: Yeah, it's mostly discipline. No matter how jazzed up and relevant I try to make the history, I'm still dealing with a roomfull of teenage libido.
- J.T.: Mr. Donnelly?
- Mike Donnelly: Yes, J. T.?
- J.T.: [flips him the bird] Get bent, Mr. Donnelly.
- Mike Donnelly: [laughs] Exactly. Exactly.