Jackie Gleason credited as playing...
Sheriff Buford T. Justice • Gaylord Justice • Reginald Van Justice
- Junior: Daddy, look at that big ugly alligator.
- Buford T. Justice: That reminds me; I gotta call yo' mama tonight.
- Junior: You know, Daddy, I like this place. All the 'gators and snakes and stuff. Why don't we move down here?
- Buford T. Justice: Why don't YOU move down here?
- Junior: Oh no, Daddy, I ain't NEVER leavin' home. That's a promise.
- Buford T. Justice: Don't you ever, EVER threaten yo' daddy like that again!
- Junior: You know, Daddy, I don't think the Bandit's really bad. I think the trouble is he just got in with real bad company.
- Buford T. Justice: Bad company? Let me tell ya somethin', Junior. When you raid a cathouse, you take the piano player too.
- Buford T. Justice: Ya know if Junior is able to get up in the morning, tie his shoelaces and take a pee, I'm not proud. I'm amazed.
- Buford T. Justice: [Leaning against his car with his gun pointed at Bandit] Well as you can see Bandit, I've got my piece in my hand.
- 'Bandit': You've got your WHAT in your hand?
- Buford T. Justice: Junior! Why didn't you have your gun loaded?
- Junior: When I put bullets in it, Daddy, it gets too heavy.
- Buford T. Justice: Let me tell ya somethin', Junior. If you ever embarrass me like that again, I'm gonna get an ax, and you're never gonna have to open your fly again.
- Buford T. Justice: [Sheriff Justice's car got hit by Cledus' truck] Are you alright, Junior?
- Junior: Yeah.
- Buford T. Justice: You would be, you shit!
- [Justice has just caused a rollercoaster to collapse]
- Fairground Owner: Sir! I'm the owner of this, of, of... of this mess.
- Buford T. Justice: What are you tryin' to tell me? I'm in hot pursuit.
- Fairground Owner: I would like to say just... one thing... We're closed!
- Buford T. Justice: Get in the car, Junior. We're surrounded by a mental case.
- [last lines]
- Buford T. Justice: [still pursuing, in a Bus] You're not getting away from me Bandit! I'll chase you in hot-pursuit to the ends of the earth! You Sumbitch!
- Buford T. Justice: [Bandit takes off from between two semi trucks] It's the Bandit!
- Buford T. Justice: [Repeatedly honks the car horn at the semi in front of him] Hey you big piece o' turkey dump! Get that mess the hell outta there!
- Joe Klecko: [Peers out of the semi cab] Talking to me?
- Buford T. Justice: Yes, I'm talkin' to you!
- Joe Klecko: Alright, I'll see if I can get it in gear.
- [Put's the truck in reverse and proceeds to push Sheriff Justice's car backwards]
- Buford T. Justice: Well, I've said it before and I'm going to say it again... There ain't no way, no way, that you could come from my loins.
- Buford T. Justice: You're not getting away from me Bandit and I'm still in hot pursuit.
- 'Bandit': I copy that Buford. But I hear your pursuit ain't that hot.
- [Buford's car is folded into a triangle]
- Buford T. Justice: Give me your handkerchief.
- Junior: What?
- Buford T. Justice: Give me your handkerchief.
- [Junior hands him the handkerchief]
- Junior: [Buford wipes the dash and gives the handkerchief back to Junior] What is it?
- Buford T. Justice: A little fly shit.