Kill Squad

You should know what to expect. And with Kill Squad you get what you expect. Silliness. Man-love. Rose beds. Friendly interrogating. Work place conflict. That's non-stop silliness, man-love, rose-beds, friendly interrogating and work place conflict. The only thing that was missing was Carl Douglas' song 'Kung-fu fighting'. Yeah, everyone (yep that's everyone who's standing around on screen) fights like they know kung-fu or at least gives it some sort of shot. No one is safe from these party poopers. And nobody is safe from the sound FX too (swoosh, crunch and smack). All of this mayhem over a electronics company.

Cheap, low-grade drive-in exploitation that's simply fun from start to finish. Its heedless approach is episodic, but it's all about the kung-fu set-pieces. Less talk, more fighting. Although there's bit of strutting as well. Well they can't help it because of its funky dory soundtrack. Sure it can be repetitive, but never does it become tiring due to its speedy pace and unsparing carnage.

A small group of Vietnam veterans with special abilities reunite to seek vengeance for a friend who was left paralysed. The motto; "Joseph needs you." So after the brutal opening, we then see the squad but before teaming up ("Assemble the squad Larry. You know where to find them."). They all get some sort of intro to show how badass and invincible they are (Although bullets are the exception). Then it comes "Joseph needs you." No hesitation, they're in and they deck up in their former army gear to help their pal. It's super best friends doing (a head nodding) Joseph proud, out to dig up leads (Cameron Mitchell their number one suspect), but finding nothing but trouble as they take matters into their own hands. Especially those you don't like to play fair, by bringing out a gun but those moments do end up with comical and quite bloody results ("You better let me hold onto this before you kill yourself").

Plenty of humour, but never does it feel all that serious. There's a good mixture of laughs, sleaze and take no prisoners violence. That's not to say it doesn't get ridiculous, because it does like the balaclava wearing sniper who suddenly appears from nowhere eliminating any clues / ties / the kill squad. While the climatic revelation is melodramatic ham that doesn't make much sense. You just roll with it.

Enjoyably dumb, macho kung-fu entertainment.

Wheelchair bound veteran (Risk) maimed in Vietnam assembles his former team to hunt down those responsible for the brutal death of his wife. Things unravel when a mysterious black-clad martial artist / swordsman starts taking down the elite team.

Largely unknown cast features Jean Glaude as the principal member of the squad who brings the others aboard, whilst veteran Cameron Mitchell plays the cigar-chewing hit man Dutch with the bad heart who cooks a mean BBQ. Some viewers might also recognise professional bodybuilder Bill Cambra as the particularly burly member of the team (although his voice appears to be dubbed as are several of the others for some reason).

The mystery isn't that difficult to solve, but it's still cheesy fun getting to the long awaited confrontation. Plenty of light humour, car stunts, banal dialogue ('fragrance can open a man's mind to lots of things') and slower-than-usual fight choreography commensurate with the micro budget (reportedly $80k). Given the amount of distribution achieved on videocassette back in the 80s, I can only assume they made their money back and then some on what is a very average action/ revenge thriller.

Bloody and over the top with a funky sax sound, 'Kill Squad' is a clumsily photographed expensive home movie but deserving of minor cult status for being so egregiously bad it's impossible not to watch.

One of those 80's low budget B-movies I remember watching on VHS back in its glory days. All the cast are unknown except for Cameron Mitchell. A lot of the scenes in this hilariously bad American karate-fu flick make you howl, here are a few I have spotted:

1. Whenever the fighting kicks in, jazzy background music starts playing.

2. The blows and kicks all have "whack" and "yap" sounds like those heard in badly dubbed kung fu films.

3. There is one scene when one of the kill squad members is pushed by two goons from the roof of a four-storey building and falls dead on top of a parked car. When the goons reach said car to get rid of the body, it is missing. The man (who is supposed to be dead) suddenly appears unscathed and says "Looking for me?"

4. In every scene where one or more of the kill squad members get into trouble, the random people they meet seem to have an appetite for destruction, even the women. Everybody in this film is kung fu fighting!

5. The film climax has an utterly ridiculous twist!

6. During the final fight when the mysterious bad guy's face is revealed, his face is shown black and blue and three of his teeth are impressed on his lips without any rhyme or reason. The problem is that these are done by bad make-up!

7. The one-liners and dialogues are equally bad. In one scene:

Joseph: I realize the police are not going to help. We gonna have to take these matters into our own hands. Assemble the squad.

Larry (Joseph's Vietnam War buddy, chuckling): Alright, now you're talking Joe… They owe you, I owe you. Hell, we all owe you!

And in every scene when each of the kill squad members is being summoned, this line is repeated: "Joseph needs you!"

If you need a good laugh, KILL SQUAD comes recommended to relieve your stress!

My review was written in June 1982 after a Times Square screening: "Kiil Squad" is a very low-budget action picture which should do okay with fans of chopsocky films, even though it features a more down to earth U. S. brand of martial arts (as opposed to the wacky, trampoline-assisted Hong Kong versions currently prevalent).

Filmmaker Patrick G. Donahue has opted for a format consisting of numerous quick fight scenes, strung together by a minimal plotline. Unconvincing story has a squad of Vietnam vets rounded up to go after Dutch (guest actor Cameron Mitchell in yet another slumming role) after he has paralyzed the squad's commander in a night raid on his house linked to an attempt to takeover his electronics busine--= With very flat acting by a cast chosen for fighting prowess alone, episodic structure quickly becomes silly, as each of the six-man squad is seen fighting some baddies before our recruiter arrives and says "Joseph needs you", cuing a typical "Let's go" response. Once the sexter is finally in place, each one shows off his weapons prowess for the camera.

Ensuing manhunt is played mainly straight and dull, with the twist of an unknown black-masked sniper picking off our heroes one by one at five minute intervals about half way through the picture. Final twist of who the sniper is getsspoiled by lapses in logic along the way.

Martial arts scenes are unexciting here, though sheer quantity may please undemanding fans. Pic's best sequence comes in some hair-raising car stunts staged during a chase near the end. Tech credits are acceptable for a cheapie, though sound is quite variable.

Well, one things for sure, they certainly don't make 'em like this anymore!

This is a joyously carefree kung-fu fest from an all but forgotten era when martial arts films didn't actually take themselves so deadly serious as the stoic, wire fu/fast edited ordure that represents a large portion of the industry these days.

OK, so the transpiring on screen events in this are formulaic at best i.e. good guys seek out bad guy for questioning, bad guy denies any knowledge of requisite info, bad guys mates turn up (often brandishing iron pipes etc) and a fight ensues after which a mysterious sniper in black (whose identity I guessed straight away!!!) wastes one of the heroes, but frankly who gives a shi- um....damn, when this is just so much fun! Just check out such scenes as one guy accidentally blowing a bloody great hole in his own foot(!), another guy getting pushed off of what must have been an eight story building, landing on a car and immediately getting back up for a fight without a scratch(!!), a kid riding his bike into the side of a car and flying over the back of it onto the ground......and his subsequent priceless response? - 'Oh sh*t!' (!!!), plus a plethora of highly amusing kung fu fights that break out literally every few minutes(!!!!!). I mean seriously, how can anyone not love this movie?!

But if the above wasn't enough, just check out the groovy soundtrack that backs all this action up - hell it's enough to make me want to don camouflage togs, get some buddies together and kick some miscreant butt!

I've also just got to add (and no serious review of this movie would be complete without) mention of the utterly hilarious manner in which each of our protagonists are introduced and subsequently recalled into the squad. Suffice to say, it just has to be seen to be believed!

Finally, to all those who view this film and indeed others of it's ilk negatively I have but one thing to say.....which would you rather sit through; this innocent, nostalgic knock about or else the latest CGI saturated, big screen faecal pile to emerge from Hollywood? If you've just answered the latter then truly, I pity you.