Terence Hill credited as playing...
Officer Dave Speed
- Tragedy Row: Hey, Paradise, I think I seen this guy on TV, but I can't remember if he's a singer or an evangelist.
- Paradise Alley: I don't care what he is! Who are you and where's Sylvius?
- Dave Speed: I know who I am and I know who you are. But do you know who he is?
- Willy Dunlop: Now I'm not saying they weren't counterfeit fish, but even if they were, there's no law against it. Or is there?
- The Chief: You're the one who gave him only five minutes to get here.
- Willy Dunlop: Well, then he's got an answering service! That's what he's got!
- Dave Speed: That's not true, Sarge.
- Dave Speed: [sensing something] Watch it, Sarge!
- Willy Dunlop: [stops the car] What the hell are you trying to do? Kill us?
- Dave Speed: I didn't want you to hit the elephants.
- Willy Dunlop: [looks around] What elephants?
- Dave Speed: [sees a group of elephants crossing the street] Those!
- Willy Dunlop: [shocked] How did you know those elephants were going to cross in front of us? I didn't see them. That means you didn't either!
- Dave Speed: I don't know. Intuition.
- Dave Speed: Why are you so mad? It's like you're sorry I'm still alive!
- Willy Dunlop: Well, what do you expect? If a man is in the middle of an atomic blast, the least he can do is drop dead!