Barry Morse credited as playing...
President Johnny Cyclops
- President Johnny Cyclops: I don't like the sounds of this.
- The Deacon: Sir, if the Lord had meant us to like everything we heard, he wouldn't have given us commercial radio.
- [Cyclops has been shot]
- President Johnny Cyclops: Oh, God. I have sinned. I have sinned!
- The Deacon: Hush. He may hear you.
- President Johnny Cyclops: You had me shot just to get public sympathy?
- The Deacon: Sir, this will blow your popularity through the roof. Henesy and his Democrat rats won't know what hit them.
- [cut to a news broadcast]
- Jay Garrick: Waves of letters of sympathy have been set after one of the most shocking and horrific acts in recent memory. Presidential candidate Jimmy Hennessy was run over by a speeding ambulance outside his home and had both his legs crushed. The ambulance contained President Johnny Cyclops, who was said to have only received flesh wounds after being shot at a TV taping this afternoon.
- The Deacon: Everything went well, sir, the lobotomy wasn't necessary.
- President Johnny Cyclops: Well, I should think not. Anyone who tries to give me a lobotomy will get a piece of my mind!
- President Johnny Cyclops: Hell, Shah Rassim, this is president Johnny Cyclops. You may have noticed I am communicating with you by means of a parrot. This is because what I am about to tell you is of a highly confidential and secretive - are you sure he's getting all this, Deacon? The Quark Bomb has not been stolen by a terrorist. We stole it, and gave it to a terrorist; it's being smuggled to help you regain your rightful perch- throne! And we hope to get you off of that ferry very soon.
- The Deacon: And the rest, Mr. President?
- President Johnny Cyclops: P.S. Would you please, eat me?