Paul Bartel credited as playing...
- Paul: Why don't you go to bed, honey? I'll bag the Nazi and straighten up.
- Paul: It's amazing what you can do with a cheap piece of meat if you know how to treat it.
- Paul: [to Mary, after killing someone] Well, there's one consideration. If you'd done what he asked, he would have died anyway.
- [Discussing cheap wine]
- Customer: Really? Stomach cramps? But it's such a good buy.
- Paul: Well, so is lighter fluid at a dollar fifty a pint, but I wouldn't serve it to my - dinner guests.
- Paul: Mary, I just killed a man.
- Mary: He was a man. Now he's just a bag of garbage.
- Paul: A hundred-and-seventy-five-dollar-a-month rent increase! How are we going to pay that?
- Mary: Don't worry. We can live on your insta-cash card for a month or so.
- Paul: Don't you remember? It was canceled for non-payment.
- Sex Shop Salesman: But I'm telling you - you're gonna need a lubricant for this vibrator. Unless your date's inflatable. Ha!
- Paul: For your information, I'm buying this to use as a novelty cocktail stirrer!
- Sex Shop Salesman: [shouts] Sure!
- Paul: Mary, if we call it the Country Kitchen, can the specialty still be the Bland Enchilada?
- Paul: Mary, what do you think makes them go for that weird stuff? Are they crazy?
- Mary: They're sick. This world is overflowing with millions of sexual freaks.
- Paul: We're so lucky to have found each other.
- Mary: I think it's a good idea.
- Paul: What's a good idea?
- Mary: Putting in new locks. We don't want people wandering in when we're - bopping perverts.
- Mary: You killed him! You killed him!
- Paul: What?
- Mary: He's dead. He's really dead.
- Paul: Oh, shit! That's all I need.
- Mary: I just don't know why they let swingers in the building.
- Paul: Because they're so transient, that's why. They're always pairing up and switching off and moving in and moving out and the landlords get to raise the rent every 10 minutes.
- Mary: Sexual liberation. Just look what it's brought us.
- Paul: She's some madwoman who attacks people with a whip. She was at that swingers party.
- Mary: She gave you her card?
- Paul: She gave everybody her card.
- Mary: That's disgusting.
- Paul: Apparently, a lot of swingers enjoy that sort of thing.
- Mary: I don't mind a *little* hugging and kissing. But that...
- Mary: Do you realize that we have made almost a thousand dollars in two days, tax-free?
- Paul: Just by - killing people.
- Mary: Horrible, sex-crazed maniacs that nobody in the world would miss. I wonder how much we could make if we really put our minds to it.
- Paul: Look, Mary, our ad's out. "We do anything."
- Mary: Well, that's certainly laying it on the line.
