Brian Backer credited as playing...
Mark 'Rat' Ratner
- Mike Damone: I mean don't just walk in. You move across the room. And you don't talk to her. You use your face. You use your body. You use everything. That's what I do. I mean I just send out this vibe and I have personally found that women do respond. I mean, something happens.
- Mark Ratner: Well, naturally something happens. I mean, you put the vibe out to 30 million chicks, something is gonna happen.
- Mike Damone: That's the idea, Rat. That's the attitude.
- Mark Ratner: The attitude?
- Mike Damone: Yeah! The attitude dictates that you don't care whether she comes, stays, lays, or prays. I mean whatever happens, your toes are still tappin'. Now when you got that, then you have the attitude.
- Mark Ratner: Well, what am I supposed to do? Go up to this strange girl in my Biology class and say,"Hello, I'd like you to take your clothes off and jump on me"?
- Mike Damone: I would.
- Mark Ratner: [inside the locker room] Mike tell me what went on between you and Stacy?
- Damone: We were out messing around and something happened.
- Mark Ratner: What do you mean something happened.
- Damone: Look I never even talked to her again. Rat if you asked me she's a very aggressive girl.
- Mark Ratner: No, I don't know what you mean.
- Damone: Rat, She never really was your girlfriend.
- Mark Ratner: [Rat gets on the defensive] You know Damone I always stick up for you. They say oh, Damone that loud mouth - and they say that a lot. I say oh, no you just don't know Damone. I mean when they call you an idiot, I say Damone's not an idiot. Well, you know something maybe they know you pretty good. Maybe I'm just starting to find out.
- Damone: [Damone gets annoyed] Get lost.
- Damone: [after getting shoved by Rat] You want to do something about it, huh, you little wuss.
- Mike Damone: This is going to be great, Rat. It's like the highlight of their day.
- Mark Ratner: Hey maybe we'd better call first. I dunno about dropping in like...
- Mike Damone: What are you kidding? We're gunna surprise them. Look, just fix your collar, alright? Relax, just be cool, attitude, remember? Where'd you get that, outta the hamper?
- Mark Ratner: Hey, come on, this is clean.
- Mike Damone: Look Rat, it's like riding a bike. Fall off; you're right back on. Mess up a date, do it again.
- Mike Damone: [at home watching TV, the phone rings, Mike picks it up] Hello?
- Mark Ratner: Mike, it's Mark.
- Mike Damone: Hey, what happened to your date?
- Mark Ratner: It's happening right now. Everything's fine except...
- [sighs]
- Mark Ratner: ... I left my wallet at home.
- Mike Damone: Why don't you go home and get it?
- Mark Ratner: No, I can't! I'm here! The food's coming and everything. Look, would you do me a favor and just borrow your mom's car, drive to my house, get my wallet and-and bring it back here.
- [Mike says nothing, unenthusiastic about the idea]
- Mark Ratner: Hello? Mike? Mike?
- Mike Damone: Jeez, I'm really kinda busy, Rat.
- Mark Ratner: [desperately] Look, just do me this one favor, I swear I won't ask you for anything again in this lifetime or any other but just please do this for me.
- Mike Damone: All right, but you owe me for this one.
- Mark Ratner: [smiles, relieved] Okay, thanks. Thanks a lot. Thanks.
- Mike Damone: [hangs up, looks back at the TV] What happened?