Inseminoid

The script is the main culprit, with terrible lines and cliché scenes written for 4 year old to ponder upon: The number of times the cast members are sent out into the corridor (ones & twos) to be done-in by a rabid Ms Gleeson beggars belief! And each time they fall over\ stand still so as to allow themselves to be dispatched in some very poorly choreographed fight scene- did I say fight scene? I meant rolling around on the ground. I can only guess that they ran out of plot devices on day 1.

The Director should also stand up and take a bow, as a lot of the fault lies there. The subject matter may have been "maverick" but it was executed in a terrible way- B movie slasher style. He should have realised that this plot line was about as believable as politician election promise.

My sympathy goes to the cast, who were made to say the lines and roll around on the ground. They put in bad performances all round, with only Ms Gleeson showing an occasional dabble of acting skill.

If MST3K ever wanted to do a schlock SF horror, this would be the one to go for.

Like a previous contributor, I saw Inseminoid on BBC 1 last Saturday too - but to my eternal shame, I must admit that I actually went out of my way to see it!

Y'see, when I was a spotty teenager way back in the early 80s, I was always intrigued by this movie's premise - aliens! horror! sex! YES!! YES!! YES!! - but was too young to rent it from my local video shop. So when I saw that it was on telly I was ecstatic - twenty years of waiting, over at last!

Well, you know what they say about being careful what you wish for... As everyone's already pointed out, it's sh*te of the highest ordure - 'nuff said.

In answer to the fellow country-man who also endured it on Saturday: as a first (and last) time viewer, obviously I've no idea if it got cut. I imagine the scene that the Beeb would (naturally) be most sensitive about is the 'xeno-rape' scene.

What was shown was a slightly confusing collage of bug-eyed alien leering down at parted thighs (as if seen from the viewpoint of the inseminee), intercut with shots of a crooked leg, behind which you could see a clear plastic tube - the alien's penis? - filled with what looked like meatballs floating in green pea soup. Presumably the tube was being used to penetrate and impregnate the alien's prey.

Does that sound much like the uncut version you saw way back when? As I say, it was pretty confusing and felt like it might have been cut, but given the generally shoddy state of the direction and editing it's hard to tell what's the director's original 'vision' and what's been snipped by the censor's scissors.

Pip-pip, The Hutt

The title caught our attention in the same way as Revenge of The Space-Hitlers, it's a title that says "this could be so bad that it would be entertaining". This is what we found. Low production values, low production costs, bad acting, bad dialogue, bad special effects - we found it hilarious (unlike Boggy Creek II, which was just plain awful)

After the prologue, the opening line is "Hey wait a minute!" as in "what's this strange thing I've found on this strange alien world" - get the idea? It's a classic demonic possession plot, where a nice girl is turned nasty by an alien intelligence, and then people get 'hurt'. This means that there is plenty of blood and pain, and some cracking screaming from Geeson. If Oscars were awarded for screaming, we're of the opinion she should have got a nomination at the very least.

To exemplify the bad dialogue: Woman in peril: "I can't do it!". Man trying to save woman with motivational words: "Can't is a word I don't understand! Come on, you can't give up!"

Also "Unknown energy fields are beyond the reach of this team."

Overall I'd describe this as a poor vehicle for nasty, bloody violence and a bit of sex, which made little sense. However, there is much entertainment in it's dire naffness.

This movie is, first and foremost, a rip-off of Alien. Pretty easy to see that right off. The budget is terrible, the acting is terrible, the writing is terrible, the direction is terrible and the music is terrible. This movie is terrible. Not just a little terrible but unbelievably terrible, in the stratosphere terrible. And thats why its so fascinating. Scene after scene, I was absolutely fascinated that a movie could be so terrible and yet it seemed to top itself. Just when I thought it couldnt get any worse, it did. I was entranced by this fact. I could not stop watching it for that reason. I watched Alien on DVD recently and I couldnt help but think of Horror Planet. Alien is so amazingly competent in every way that it is insulting to have to make any comparisons between the two. My advice is to rent Horror Planet and watch it. Watch every scene. Its not a long movie and never really boring, again not for the right reasons. Then, preferably on DVD or VHS widescreen, watch Alien. You will come away feeling such gratitude to Ridley Scott, the actors and producers of Alien that its worth the trouble of watching Horror Planet. Then, never ever ever EVER watch Horror Planet again, but keep re-discovering Alien. It is one of the greatest movies ever made.

Some of these actors are mildly famous. Steve Martin's first wife IRL, Victoria Tennant, was in LA Story and All of Me among other things. David Baxt was in Batman(89), Superman(78), AND THE SHINING. Judy Geeson was in every sit-com, sci-fi, and comedy since 1962 (space 1999) But none of this will prepare you for the nonsense and dreamlike sequences that make up this film. There is constant running and screaming and more screaming and running. There's a hedge trimmer space weapon, there's alien babies, there's gore for no reason, there's space (sometimes) outside and sometimes not. Every sound in this film was recorded sometime later. There's cheesy horrible electronic music. Whenever there's gore it's not scary, it's dumb. It's gets so ridiculous, you'll be amazed that you're still watching, even if just to see where these damn alien babies are in this film. I made it to the end but I'm not ever watching it again.