Tommy Lee Jones credited as playing...
Captain Bully Hayes
- Count Von Rittenberg: [about to duel with Capt. Bully Hayes] Captain Hayes!
- Captain Bully Hayes: Admiral!
- Count Von Rittenberg: Count!
- Captain Bully Hayes: Whatever!
- Captain Bully Hayes: [to an interviewer, while waiting to be hanged] Are you putting down in that book that I'm a pirate?
- Writer: Well, in a manner of speaking, I suppose one could say that I am, yes.
- Captain Bully Hayes: Good! Because I am! And a damn good one too. Oh, I never flew the skull and crossed bones. That's for your fictioneers. But I have sought pleasure and profit all my life at sea without regard for any man's law. That's not to say I didn't have my morals and standards. I got morals and standards. I never killed anyone who didn't have it coming. I never cheated an honest man. I never pillaged and I never raped.
- Captain Bully Hayes: If you want Ben, you don't knock on his front door.
- Nathaniel Williamson: He wouldn't answer?
- Captain Bully Hayes: He'd blow your brains out.
- Captain Bully Hayes: Not much of a drinker, are you.
- Nathaniel Williamson: No.
- Captain Bully Hayes: Well, it's a useful habit sometimes.
- Nathaniel Williamson: Like now?
- [belches]
- Captain Bully Hayes: [laughs]
- Nathaniel Williamson: I'd like to apologize.
- Captain Bully Hayes: For what?
- Nathaniel Williamson: I was very quick to judge you.
- Captain Bully Hayes: Aw, what do they say, son? Don't judge unle... , no, let's see, judge not, judge not, judge YE not...
- Nathaniel Williamson: Judge not lest ye be judged. Matthew 7, verse 1.
- Captain Bully Hayes: Hmm.
- Nathaniel Williamson: You knew what you were doing in Samoa. It would have worked out if it wasn't for me.
- Captain Bully Hayes: Oh, don't feel badly 'cause you don't know your way around a whorehouse.