The Seven Magnificent Gladiators

The problem with this movie is not that it rehashes the plot of "The Magnificent Seven"; after all, even that movie was a remake of something else ("The Seven Samurai", which I have not seen yet). The problem is that it rehashes it in a plodding and unimaginative fashion. The main difference between the two movies (besides the obviously lower production quality, of course) is that "The Magnificent Seven" were interesting, intelligent and articulate characters; "The Seven Magnificent Gladiators" are 5 primitive muscleheads, a rookie, and a warrior woman (Sybil Danning). The fight scenes are mostly Bud-Spencer-and-Terence-Hill-do-sword-and-sorcery-style. And being this a PG film, it completely lacks any of the blood and nudity usually found in the genre. A sensuous (but brief) female bikini wrestling match is as risqué, and as thrilling, as it gets here, folks (and no, Sybil is not featured in it). (**)

Move over Kurosawa and Sturges, Bruno "SS Girls" Mattei has got this. Basically the old Seven Samurai plot reworked for ancient Roman times. A demigod douchebag is terrorizing frightened villagers. So some of the village women go and get a magic sword that only one man can wield (heard that before?). Then they recruit Lou Ferrigno, Brad Harris, sexy Sybil Danning, and a few forgettable types to help fight the villain.

Reunites the stars of Cannon's Hercules movie, released the same year. It's directed with what can only honestly be called a complete absence of talent. Badly acted, badly dubbed, with stunt choreography that appears to have been made up on the spot not unlike my brother & I play fighting as kids using sticks as swords. Filmed in Italy and utilizing actual ruins as sets, this should have at least had some local flavor or scenic appeal going for it. But nope. I wanted to like it in spite of itself, but it's just not that much fun.

The mighty Lou Ferrigno stars in this swords & sandal take on Akira Kurosawa's classic The Seven Samurai, brought to us in this case by the ever maligned Bruno Mattei.

Big Lou's mission, along with his assembled warriors, is to defend a small village from the annual onslaught of a sadistic immortal and his cronies. To aid him in his task, Lou wields a magic sword, a sword in fact that only he can hold and formerly the trusted side arm of none other than Achilles - or so we're told.

Cue plenty of fairly enjoyable (if slightly handled) battles as our hero's fight for justice on behalf of the victimised community.

OK despite the title this is sadly most definitely NOT magnificent stuff, but it is nonetheless a harmless enough way to pass an hour and a half or so. Besides, how can any man really complain when none other than the gorgeous (and wonderfully buxom!) Sybil Danning is present?!

Nothing on television again and man this is on. Lou (Hulk) in this and man this is so bad that it hurts to watch but I am anyways just to laugh at it. How can the Director and Producers even think that this is something someone would love to watch? So many bad movies that get rated higher.

Not this movie being rated higher but there are. This one is just nothing to praise for it but the acting and playing too much instead of being a serious movie. Who ever likes this has to be completely nuts. No way someone could like it. Lou is terrible actor and okay body builder.

Oh well, they just keep showing bad movies on television. Just like America 3000 is bad too.

This movie should have been called One Magnificent Gladiator, One Mediocre Gladiator, Four Scrungy Men and Sybil Danning. Better yet, Lou Ferringo With His Shirt Off and Sybil Danning Almost.

I suppose it's in the tradition of Seven Samurai, but I don't believe it intends to be comparable. It is silly fun, like other sword-and-sandal movies.

I admit it does make Conan the Barbarian look like art.

Nobody who sees Lou Ferrigno and Sybil Danning in lead roles and watches the movie anyway has a right to complain.

I've heard from imdb's bio of Lou that the most he ever benched was 560. That's hard to believe, seeing that chest and those arms. I'd have thought at least 700, since I can handle 550 and nobody looks at me twice. So it goes.