James Cranna credited as playing...
Rod Rescueman • Scuzzbopper • Frivoli Foreman • Rusher of Din - Street Preacher
- Flora: Uncle Greenie, where are you?
- Greensleeves: Under the door, ya twit!
- Rod Rescueman: That's a pretty stupid place to be when people are knocking doors down!
- Rod Rescueman: I'm a super hero!
- Fairy Godmother: You're kidding
- Rod Rescueman: I'm actually not a full fledged one, I'm on my learner's permit but that's almost as good.
- Fairy Godmother: You have a resume, perhaps I could check something out?
- Rod Rescueman: Yeah I do, right here. It's a blank piece of paper but it is notarized and it's legal signed.
- Fairy Godmother: You've made my day! If only I could give you a little test you could show me that you're capable of doing...
- Rod Rescueman: I've got an idea!
- Fairy Godmother: Yes?
- Rod Rescueman: Why don't you give me a test?
- Fairy Godmother: There's an idea!
- Rod Rescueman: Thank you!
- Fairy Godmother: Let me think of something... Here we go, I though of it so very quickly, let's pretend that I'm a damsel in distress.
- Rod Rescueman: You'll be the damsel in distress.
- Fairy Godmother: Better me than you.
- Rod Rescueman: Well I couldn't rescue myself, that doesn't count.
- Fairy Godmother: It really doesn't.
- [flies up onto her desk]
- Fairy Godmother: OK, to make it a little more interesting I will be a damsel in distress currently on fire.
- Rod Rescueman: At this moment, on fire.
- Fairy Godmother: Here we go.
- [lights a ring of fire around her]
- Fairy Godmother: Oh, help! Damsel in distress currently on fire! Oh, help!
- Rod Rescueman: This is the test where I show you...
- Fairy Godmother: This is where you jump in and do something!
- Rod Rescueman: Alright, you're on fire...
- Fairy Godmother: Currently!
- Rod Rescueman: Excuse me ma'am! Superheros are very polite!
- Fairy Godmother: [fire stops blazing] Skip polite, go right back!
- [fire starts blazing again]
- Fairy Godmother: I now feel molecules charing internally!
- Rod Rescueman: Gotchya!
- Rod Rescueman: [Flying in with fanfare] Hello.
- The Fairy Godmother: Yes, who are you?
- Rod Rescueman: My name is Rod Rescueman.
- The Fairy Godmother: And what do I learn from that?
- Rod Rescueman: My name.
- Fairy Godmother: Oh, help! Damsel in distress currently on fire!
- Rod Rescueman: Would you like to be rescued?
- Fairy Godmother: [fire stop blazing] More than life itself!
- [fire begins to blaze again]
- Rod Rescueman: Let me just suck those flames up then!
- [sucks flames into his mouth]
- Fairy Godmother: My hero!
- Rod Rescueman: Thank you!
- [blows out flames all over the fairy godmother turning her black and crispy with the top of her wand eventually falling off]
- Fairy Godmother: Oh, jeez! This is pain!
- Rod Rescueman: Do I get the job, or should we move right onto the shark infested waters test?
- Fairy Godmother: I'll give you the job, you'll get out of here!
- Flora: Uncle Greenie, is it really you?
- Greensleeves: Basically it is, yeah.
- Flora: You're short and bent!
- Greensleeves: I'm short and bent.
- Flora: What happened to my Uncle Greenie, the handsome dashing hero?
- Greensleeves: He got short and bent. But he's glad to see you nonetheless... come here darling, let me give you a kiss you sweet love!
- [sound of kissing]
- Rod Rescueman: [enviously] *I* should get short and bent!
- Scuzzbopper: I'm through with nightmare scripts! I'm starting work on The Great Amurkian Novel! Pulitzer Prize, here I come!