Lily Tomlin credited as playing...
Edwina Cutwater
- Edwina Cutwater: What is so important about sex?
- Roger Cobb: What's so important about sex? That's like "What's important about laughing?" Or," "Duke Ellington" or the "World Series"? It's one of those things that makes you feel like you're really - living, Iike you're glad to be alive!
- Edwina Cutwater: I am already glad to be alive. I don't need to play 'tonsil hockey' with some English tart to feel good. I already feel good. I feel wonderful In fact, I feel - quite tingly!
- Roger Cobb: Yeah, that's right. Those are my tingles you're feeling.
- Edwina Cutwater: What do you mean?
- Roger Cobb: It's called "sexual - excitement".
- Edwina Cutwater: It is?
- Roger Cobb: Yes. If you think this feels good, wait'll you feel what hot, passionate boffing feels like.
- Edwina Cutwater: And what happens? Bigger tingles?
- Roger Cobb: Oh! Major tingles.
- Edwina Cutwater: But, will she still respect us tomorrow?
- Roger Cobb: She doesn't respect us now!
- Edwina Cutwater: Let's boff.
- Roger: You'll have to do it.
- Edwina Cutwater: Do what?
- Roger: You know, take it out.
- Edwina Cutwater: Take what out?
- Roger: The little fireman.
- Edwina Cutwater: The little fireman?
- Roger: You know, my penis.
- Edwina Cutwater: How dare you say penis to a dead person.
- Edwina Cutwater: Well I don't see why you're getting so upset about all this.
- Roger: Because I want my body back. And I want my freedom and my privacy. And most of all, I'd like to be able to take a leak without being fondled.
- Edwina Cutwater: You may find this hard to believe, but 'fondling you' while you make pee-pee is not my idea of a good time.
- Edwina Cutwater: Hmm, we seem to have mutual control over our body.
- Roger: OUR body? This is my body! I'm not sharing my body with anyone!
- Hardhat: [overhears] Everybody's gonna be real disappointed.
- Terry Hoskins: [Roger and Terry start to have sex and she lowers his underwear] Roger, what's wrong?
- Roger: What?
- Terry Hoskins: Don't I excite you?
- Roger: Edwina, what are you doing?
- Edwina Cutwater: I'm thinking of very old nuns.
- Roger: Please don't do this to me!
- Terry Hoskins: Roger, don't you want me?
- Roger: [Bolts from the bed] Oh, God! Now she's thinking of dead kittens!
- Edwina Cutwater: Guess what I'm going to do?
- Roger: What?
- Edwina Cutwater: I'm going to come back from the dead.
- Roger: Aaahhhh. And what makes you think you can do that?
- Edwina Cutwater: Because I'm rich.
- Edwina Cutwater: You know, you don't have to speak out loud. I can hear your thoughts.
- Roger: Great, just what I've always wanted.
- Edwina Cutwater: You have no idea what it's like to be inside a healthy body!
- Roger Cobb: I tried to find out last night!
- Burton Schuyler: Are you strong enough to continue?
- Edwina Cutwater: What? Oh, I'm fine. Really. I'm fine. Tell them.
- Dr. Betty Ahrens: She could drop dead any minute...
- Edwina Cutwater: Don't mind her. She is only trying to make me feel good.
- Edwina Cutwater: Just tell him what happened. I'm sure he'll believe you.
- Roger: (thinks) What, are you kidding? I don't even believe it. If I tell him, he'll definitely have me put away.
- Edwina Cutwater: I'm sorry if I spoiled your birthday.
- Roger Cobb: And I'm sorry if I made you being dead an unpleasant experience.
- Edwina Cutwater: I'm gonna dance, Roger. I'm gonna twirl and whirl and spin. I'm gonna cha-cha-cha and merengue. I'm gonna dip - deeply.
- Edwina Cutwater: There's nothing sadder than Iooking back at the end of your life and saying, "l didn't do it right". And believe me, I know.
- Roger: What the hell are you doing in there?
- Edwina Cutwater: Oh God, don't you guys get enough laughs up there? What have I ever done to you?
- Edwina Cutwater: Ever since our little accident, I have sensed a lot of hostility coming from you.
- Roger Cobb: Well, excuse me! But I'm watching my entire career go right down the sewer, 'cause I've got a dead woman living inside me. And the only person that can get you out is some cosmic weirdo you can't even find!