Dana Elcar credited as playing...
Burton Schuyler
- Burton Schuyler: Are you strong enough to continue?
- Edwina Cutwater: What? Oh, I'm fine. Really. I'm fine. Tell them.
- Dr. Betty Ahrens: She could drop dead any minute...
- Edwina Cutwater: Don't mind her. She is only trying to make me feel good.
- Roger Cobb: I want a partnership.
- Burton Schuyler: Listen, the day you give up be-bop and concentrate on the law, we'll talk!
- Roger Cobb: Start talking. I quit the band. As of today I'm dedicating myself full time to my legal career. Later today, I'm going to buy a vest.
- Burton Schuyler: My God, you're serious.
- Burton Schuyler: It seems that one of my wife's best friends suddenly lost her husband. Well, women usually do outlive their men. So, naturally, she found herself cut off from her normal sexual relations and...
- Roger Cobb: She turned to you and you comfort her. I understand, sir, you really didn't do anything wrong.
- Burton Schuyler: You better believe it. I was incredible!
- Roger Cobb: I see, sir. I think I can figure out the rest.
- Burton Schuyler: Oh, and then another one was widowed.
- Roger Cobb: Ok, so two little indiscretions. That's not such a big deal.
- Burton Schuyler: And then, another one. And then, another. And pretty soon, just going to a funeral would give me a hard-on.
- Judge: Bailiff! Throw this jackass out of my courtroom! I'm going to the State bar. You're a lunatic!
- Roger Cobb: He can't do this to me!
- Mr. Mifflin: He's not just a lunatic! He's a pervert too! He plays with himself in the Mens Room!
- Peggy Schuyler: And he cheated on me Daddy! He had sex with a dead body in your offices!
- Burton Schuyler: You're fired Cobb!
- [bailiff throws Roger onto the floor in hallway]
- Gretchen: After 32 years of marriage you're still a naughty little devil, aren't you!
- [phone rings]
- Gretchen: Shouldn't you answer that? Maybe it's your wife.
- Burton Schuyler: Oh, ever since she filed for divorce she hardly ever calls any more.