Eddie Murphy credited as playing...
Axel Foley
- Axel Foley: Did you see that shit? I can describe all of em.
- Beverly Hills Cop #1: Please move to the side of the car, and put your hands on the hood!
- Axel Foley: Why, what's with you guys?
- Beverly Hills Cop #2: You heard what he said, sir. Do it right now, please!
- Axel Foley: What kind of shit is this, man? Hold up, wait a second! You guys are arresting me for getting thrown out of a fucking window? I got thrown out of a window, man!
- Beverly Hills Cop #1: Gun, partner!
- Beverly Hills Cop #1: Sir, you are under arrest; you are to remain silent, anything you say CAN and will be against you in a court of law! You have a right to have an attorney present during questioning...
- Axel Foley: Yeah, I understand, I understand the rights! I know this is bullshit, man... I got thrown out of a fucking window!
- Beverly Hills Cop #2: Please get in the car, sir!
- Axel Foley: Tell me, sir, what's the charge?
- Beverly Hills Cop #2: Posession of concealed weapons, and disturbing the peace!
- Axel Foley: Disturbing the peace? I got thrown out of a window! What's the fucking charge for getting pushed out of a moving car, huh? Jaywalking? This is bullshit!
- [Foley hands the keys to his beat-up car to a valet]
- Axel Foley: Can you put this in a good spot? 'Cause all of this shit happened the last time I parked here.
- Axel Foley: You know, this is the cleanest and nicest police car I've ever been in in my life. This thing's nicer than my apartment.
- Axel Foley: Don't you think I realize what's going on here, miss? Who do you think I am, huh? Don't you think I know that if I was some hotshot from out of town that pulled inside here and you guys made a reservation mistake, I'd be the first one to get a room and I'd be upstairs relaxing right now. But I'm not some hotshot from out of town, I'm a small reporter from "Rolling Stone" magazine that's in town to do an exclusive interview with Michael Jackson that's gonna be picked up by every major magazine in the country. I was gonna call the article "Michael Jackson Is Sitting On Top of the World," but now I think I might as well just call it "Michael Jackson Can Sit On Top of the World Just As Long As He Doesn't Sit in the Beverly Palm Hotel 'Cause There's No Niggers Allowed in There!"
- [Axel pretends to be a male hustler]
- Axel Foley: Tell Victor that Ramon - -the fella he met about a week ago? - -tell him that Ramon went to the clinic today, and I found out that I have, um, herpes simplex 10, and I think Victor should go check himself out with his physician to make sure everything is fine before things start falling off on the man.
- Police Chief Hubbard: Is this the gentleman who crashed through Victor Maitland's window? Who disabled an unmarked unit with a banana?
- Lieutenant Bogomil: Yes, sir.
- Police Chief Hubbard: Who lured Taggart and Rosemont into a gross dereliction of duty at a strip-tease establishment?
- Detective Rosewood: Uh, it's Rosewood, sir.
- Lieutenant Bogomil: Yes, sir.
- Police Chief Hubbard: Is this the gentleman who ruined the buffet at the Harrow club this morning?
- Lieutenant Bogomil: Yes, sir.
- Police Chief Hubbard: I just bet that you are the pride of your department in Detroit. Lieutenant, I'd like to see you in your office.
- Lieutenant Bogomil: Yes, sir.
- Axel Foley: [mocking Hubbard] Is this the man who... wrecked the buffet at the Harrow club this morning?
- Sergeant Taggart: Lower your voice, for Christ's sake!
- Axel Foley: What, can the guy hear me through the wall?
- Detective Rosewood, Sergeant Taggart: Yes, he can.
- [Detectives Foster and McCabe nod in agreement]
- Serge: [taking notice to Axel's interest in the artwork] I see you look at this piece.
- Axel Foley: Yeah. I was wondering how much something like this went for.
- Serge: One hundred and thirty thousand dollar.
- Axel Foley: Get the fuck out of here!
- Serge: [laughing] No, I cannot! It's serious! Because it's very important piece.
- Axel Foley: Have you ever sold one of these?
- Serge: [proudly] Sell it yesterday to a collector.
- Axel Foley: Get the fuck out of here!
- Serge: No! I'm serious! I sell it myself!
- Axel Foley: Gimme the key! I'm gonna follow 'em!
- Jenny Summers: Have you ever driven a Mercedes before?
- Axel Foley: No, but a car is a car. I drive my car every day.
- Jenny Summers: I'm driving. I've seen your car.
- Axel Foley: Oh, shit, that's cold.
- Axel Foley: Before I go, I just want you two to know something, alright? The supercop story... was working. Okay? It was working, and you guys just messed it up. Okay? I'm trying to figure you guys out, but I haven't yet. But it's cool. You fuck up a perfectly good lie.
- Axel Foley: I've never been in a cell that had a phone in it. Can I stay for a while, 'cause I ordered some pizza?
- Inspector Douglas Todd: You mind telling me where the fuck you come off going undercover without authorization from me? What the fuck is this all about? You wanna play some fucking bullshit cowboy cop? Go do it in somebody else's precinct!
- Axel Foley: Don't you wanna hear my side of the story?
- Inspector Douglas Todd: What's your fucking side of the story?
- Axel Foley: Let's hear your side of the story.
- Inspector Douglas Todd: Hey Axel, I'm not takin' anymore of this shit from you. You know how much this little stunt of yours is gonna cost this city?
- Axel Foley: I don't think cost is the issue here, sir. I think the issue should be my blatant disregard for proper procedure.
- Inspector Douglas Todd: You damn right, wise ass! The mayor called the Chief, the Chief called the Deputy Chief, the Deputy Chief just chewed my ass out! You see I don't have any bit of it left, don't you? Where in the fuck did you get a truckload of cigarettes from anyway?
- Axel Foley: From the Dearborn Hijacking.
- Inspector Douglas Todd: From the Dearborn Hijacking? That fucking bust went down last week! That truck is supposed to be in the damn pound!
- Jeffery: I tried to tell you.
- Inspector Douglas Todd: Jeffery, this is none of your fucking business!
- Jeffery: [Pointing to a random locker] This is not my locker!
- Inspector Douglas Todd: Listen Axel, no more of these set ups, you understand? You're a good cop, and you got great potential, but you don't know every fucking thing. And I'm tired of taking the heat for your ass. One more time and you're out on the street. Do you understand me?
- Axel Foley: Look, Boss, let me tell...
- Inspector Douglas Todd: [emphatically] Do you understand me?
- Axel Foley: Yeah, I understand. Boss. The Chief ain't chew it all out. You still got a little ass there.
- Inspector Douglas Todd: Don't fuck with me Axel! Not now! Go on. Go home.
- Axel Foley: What? Y'all the second team?
- Detective McCabe: We're the first team.
- Detective Foster: Yeah, and we're not gonna fall for a banana in the tailpipe.
- Axel Foley: [mocking him] You're not gonna fall for the banana in the tailpipe? It should be more natural, brother. It should flow out, like this - "Look, man, I ain't fallin' for no banana in my tailpipe!" See, that's more natural for us. You been hanging out with this dude too long.
- Jenny Summers: I remember you used to drive that crappy blue Chevy Nova.
- [they both chuckle]
- Jenny Summers: What are you driving now?
- Axel Foley: Same crappy blue Chevy Nova.
- Sergeant Taggart: Why didn't you identify yourself as a police officer when you were arrested?
- Axel Foley: 'Cause I was mindin' my own business. Hey, where the fuck do you guys get off on arresting somebody for getting thrown out of a window?
- Sergeant Taggart: We have six witnesses that say you broke in and started tearing up the place, then jumped out the window!
- Axel Foley: And you guys believe that? What the fuck are you, cops or doormen?
- Sergeant Taggart: We're more likely to believe an important local businessman than a foul-mouthed jerk from out of town.
- Axel Foley: Foul-mouthed?
- [Taggart nods]
- Axel Foley: Fuck you, man.
- Detective Rosewood: [Taggart stands up and draws himself to full height] Hey, Sarge...
- Sergeant Taggart: You watch your mouth.
- Axel Foley: [standing] Hey, man, don't square off on me with some bullshit.
- [shoves Taggart]
- Axel Foley: You wanna start some static?
- Sergeant Taggart: Hey, don't push me!
- Axel Foley: [shoves Taggart again] Fuck you, man!
- [Taggart delivers hard blow to Axel's stomach... Axel doubles over in pain]
- Lieutenant Bogomil: [witnessing from his office] Taggart!
- Sergeant Taggart: Yes, sir.
- Lieutenant Bogomil: Come here.
- [Taggart enters Bogomil's office, both emerge a minute later]
- Sergeant Taggart: Sir... I apologize for striking you. I have no excuse.
- Axel Foley: [bemused] Forget about it.
- Serge: [Serge is having trouble understanding/pronouncing Axel's first name] Donny, run and tell Miss Summers that, uh, Mister Achmed Foley is here to see her...
- Axel Foley: No, *Axel* Foley. Axel.
- Serge: Achnell...? Achwell...
- Axel Foley: *Axel*.
- Serge: ...Foley is here to see her, he's an old acquaintance.
- Jenny Summers: [about Axel] What are you gonna do to him?
- Victor Maitland: I think you should be more worried about what we're going to do with you.
- Axel Foley: Yeah, Jenny, don't worry about me. We got cocaine and coffee here. We're gonna get wired and have a big party.
- Sergeant Taggart: [after Axel has just offered him a hotel robe] Nah, that's alright. You keep it as a souvenir.
- Axel Foley: I already have three of 'em in my bag.
- Axel Foley: Is your supervisor here?
- Bonded Warehouse Security Guard: Yeah, he's in the office.
- Axel Foley: Can you go get him for me, please?
- Bonded Warehouse Security Guard: What's the problem?
- Axel Foley: Are you security here?
- Bonded Warehouse Security Guard: Yeah.
- Axel Foley: [pulling badge] Then you're the fucking problem! Go get your supervisor, please. Now! NOW!
- Axel Foley: Is this your car?
- Jenny Summers: Oh, no. In Beverly Hills we just take whichever car is closest.
- Axel Foley: If something happens to her...
- Victor Maitland: Hmmm...? I'm all ears.
- Axel Foley: I'll kill you.
- Victor Maitland: Really? That would be a neat trick.