Blind Date

This is an interesting horror/thriller movie about a man who goes blind who gets fitted with a sci-fi device by doctors which ends up allowing him to see strange things. The movie is not very good frankly but it is a good and original premise and not bad for a cruddy 1980s sci-fi thriller/horror movie. Lots of known actors in it too back when they were younger.

Joseph Bottoms plays American Jonathan Ratcliff, living & working in Athens. His world is turned upside down when he suddenly losses his sight, but thankfully for him an electronic sonar device has just been invented which allows blind users to "see" (via very dated looking computer graphics) & he agrees to become the first person to try it. Meanwhile an unknown, gloved killer is murdering beautiful young women with a scalpel & it's only a matter of time before their paths cross. I'd never heard of this movie before, picked it up cheap on DVD from a charity shop, but once the name Nico Mastorakis appeared as director/producer on the opening credits my interest suddenly perked up (he made the infamous, one time "video nasty" Island of Death). I found this is to be reasonable attempt at making a giallo style psycho thriller. There's some good camera work going on during some of the more suspenseful sequences. Plenty of female topless nudity, including Kirstie Alley doing apparently her only ever topless on camera scene, though that's hardly a recommendation! Pretty tame in the gore department, only two onscreen kills, both bloody but brief. As already mentioned the computer graphics look very dated - even for 1984 - but it only adds to it's charm.

Don't we all have someone in our circle of friends of whom we say: "Don't pay too much attention to X, that's just how he is. He is a bit weird and insane in the brain, but we like him". Well, that's also the best way to describe what kind of writer/director Niko Mastorakis is. His films are pleasantly deranged cocktails of far-fetched plots, sleazy perversions, extreme violence, and unconventional humor. But hey, it's Mastorakis... He's harmless and he means well...

"Blind Date" is almost impossible to describe. It's about playboy/businessman Jonathan Ratcliff who is actually a stalker and voyeur, but he's still portrayed as the hero. He goes blind from running against a tree, but his fancy doctor tells him it's actually due to an unprocessed trauma. He wants to use Jonathan as a guinea pig to plant a kind of computer chip in his skull that will replace his eyes and be directly connected to the brain. Now, Jonathan has the vision of a Commodore-64 computer, and his brain goes bonkers when he plugs his head into a video game. Meanwhile, in Athens - yes, we are in Greece - there is a serial killer wandering around who slices open young women, but only after they have undressed. Although a dozen women have already gotten into an old taxi before they were found dead, there is apparently no police looking for the killer. Don't worry, because Jonathan is connected to the killer (and I really have no idea how that's possible) and he goes after him with his black and white vision and a terribly ugly car!

As I said, there is nothing of structure or logic in "Blind Date". BUT, there are a lot of topless actresses (including Kirstie Alley... for lovers of "before they were famous" lists), gruesome massacres, and an arsenal of corny crooner songs! With a little imagination you could also call "Blind Date" a Greek variant of the Italian giallo. Proceed at your own risk.

I will not use the genre "THRILLER" to portray this film as in my humble opinion just because writer/director Nico Mastorakis who is one of the most highly successful Greek film and television producers penned Blind Date, it left me feeling cheated. Why you may ask?

Well... from the opening credits where there are a few dark and blurry scenes the audience witnesses a serial killer using a magic marker to outline on his first two female victims chests where he is about to use a sharp scalpel to cut them open, the less than scary musical score which Nico Mastorakis's uses is present throughout this very dull film.

I will say the science fiction approach to solve who the serial killer was something I have not seen in any other film. The lead actor Joseph Bottoms who plays Jonathon Ratcliff, a successful promotional executive is caught peeping on what he thinks is his first love and her new beau until the new beau named Dave (played by good looking James Daughton) gives chase in the middle of the night and as hilarious as it may seem, our star actor Jonathon Ractcliff runs smack dab into a low hanging tree limb and wakes up totally blind. Here is where the science fiction theme comes into play, a successful surgeon named Dr. Steiger (Keir Dullea) suggests he can help the recently blinded Jonathon Ratcliff using a combination or radiation surgery and a magnetic implant on his brain so that when he uses a prototype Sony Walkman (remember this film was made in 1984 and Sony was on the leading edge of the film and music industries technology boom) on the outer edge of Jonathon's skull he will be able to see 3-D animated outline images of what the rest of the world sees.

And so equipped with his new Sony Walkman seeing eye technology and a creative host of animators the film moves on to allow our star Jonathon Ratcliff to help save his first love once more from possibly falling as the next victim of this mad serial killer whose modus operando is to capture his female victims, then outline using a magic marker on their bare chests where he then intends to make his incision with his sharp scalpel while the directors irritating musical score sorely fails at keeping us the audience in suspense.

I won't spoil the ending for anyone since from the opening scene the film left me wondering if this film would be worth continuing to watch. I give the film a 4 out of 10 rating mainly for the unique use of the cutting edge sight seeing technology that Dr. Steiger used on his patient Jonathon Ratcliff which was the only interesting part of the story.

Part psychological thriller, with just a bit of sci-fi, it really never does work. Joseph Bottoms was pretty boring as the lead. Kirstie Alley was pretty good, and this film DOES have her only known topless scene. (There is a long feature on the director on the DVD which contains some additional footage of this scene.) The late Lana Clarkson was good enough here, and Marina Sirtis looked fantastic as the hooker. Keir Dullea was simply wasted on this material. The biggest plot hole had to do with the special effects (which really weren't all that special). The grid outlines that Jonathan Ratcliffe (Bottoms) were able perceive simply weren't nearly good enough for him to get around as well as he did. And I mean walking about, we don't even have to go as far as the driving scene. Also, he really wasn't very convincing as a blind man. Poor screenplay plus poor acting equals poor movie. The only reason to check this one out is if you are interested in Alley. Grade: D-