Burt Reynolds credited as playing...
J.J. McClure
- CHP Officer: What are you boys trying to pull?
- J.J. McClure: There's been a nuclear meltdown and we're transporting some contaminated materials to Connecticut.
- CHP Officer: Well, why Connecticut?
- J.J. McClure: They ran out.
- Fenderbaum: It's General Patton and general admission.
- [He and Blake laugh]
- J.J. McClure: Heckle and Jeckle dressed as cops. They oughta arrest their minds for vagrancy.
- Captain Chaos: J.J... Long time, no see.
- J.J. McClure: Nice to see you, Captain Chaos.
- Captain Chaos: Have no fear, 'Him' is here.
- J.J. McClure: I need a girl.
- Victor: Yeah, me too.
- J.J. McClure: You?
- Victor: Sure. Hey, J.J., I'm not a eunuch, you know.
- J.J. McClure: Of course you're not a eunuch. Don't put yourself down like that. You have a striking resemblance to a eunuch but...
- [Both laugh]
- J.J. McClure: Just kidding.
- Victor: [J.J. has just performed a dangerous stunt] I figured it out. If we do this ten times a day, by the end of the year, we'll be billionaires.
- [Victor tears up a telegram]
- J.J. McClure: What is that?
- Victor: Oh, don't worry about that. It's the Cannonball race. It's on again. A million dollars is the first prize. But don't you worry, we'll be billionaires.
- [J.J. picks up a handful of hay and stuffs it into Victor's mouth]
- Victor: What did I say?
- J.J. McClure: You want me to do this ten times a day?
- Victor: Nine?
- [J.J. stuffs another handful of hay in his mouth]
- Victor: What a grouch!
- J.J. McClure: What line did you say you were from?
- Betty: The Order of Imaculate Chastity.
- Victor: The Order of Imaculate Chastity? I read the bible all the time. In fact, I once read the bible that was printed on the head of a pin. That was hard. But, I've never heard of the Order of Imaculate...
- Veronica: You have to read the New Testament. In fact, it's not even the New Testament. It's the New... uh...
- Betty: New Wave.