Ted McGinley credited as playing...
Stan Gable
- Stan Gable: [to Booger] What are you looking at, nerd?
- Booger: [to himself] I thought I was looking at my mother's old douche-bag, but that's in Ohio.
- Stan Gable: Times are changing, Betty. These nerds are a threat to our way of life.
- Betty Childs: If they win the Homecoming Carnival, they'll be able to take over the Greek Council.
- Stan Gable: Yeah. And we'll be up to our asses in nerd shit.
- [Alpha Beta has been beaten by Lambda Lambda Lambda and Omega Mu]
- Coach Harris: Hey, Gable.
- Stan Gable: Yeah, Coach.
- Coach Harris: I want to see you, and the other girls, in the locker room, now!
- Stan Gable: Yes, sir.
- Lewis: [in line at the Kissing Booth at the Homecoming Carnival] Hi, Betty.
- Betty Childs: A nerd? I'm not kissing a nerd.
- Lewis: You have to. I paid my money.
- Betty Childs: [Lewis tries to kiss Betty] It's time for my break.
- Stan Gable: [Stan brings a short, fat, ugly woman, instead] Kiss this, nerd.
- Betty Childs: I want to do it, Stan. All this kissing has made me horny.
- Stan Gable: God, Betty, you're like a goat.
- Coach Harris: You know, when you were a baby in your crib, your father looked down at you, he had but one hope - "Someday, my son will grow to be a man." Well look at you now; you just got your asses whipped, by a bunch of goddamn nerds.
- [removes and throws his cap against the wall]
- Coach Harris: *Nerds*! Well, if I was you, I'd do something about it. I would get up and redeem myself in the eyes of my father, my Maker, and my *coach*!
- Burke: Well let's get those nerds!
- Stan Gable: Nerds!
- Ogre: Nerds!
- Stan Gable: What are waiting for?
- [Stan finds out how the Tri-Lambs were able to sell so many pies; there's a naked picture of Betty at the bottom of every one]
- Stan Gable: That's *my* Pi!
- Lewis: Rubbers? What do we need rubbers for?
- [sheep goes baa, baa baa]
- Stan Gable: Let the initiation begin.