Anne Bancroft credited as playing...
Mother Miriam Ruth
- Mother Miriam Ruth: My dear, I don't think a Communion wafer has the recommended daily allowance of anything.
- Sister Agnes: [whispers] Of God...
- Doctor Martha Livingston: Suppose the saints would have smoked if tobacco'd been popular back then?
- Mother Miriam Ruth: Undoubtably. Not the ascetics, of course, but, well, St. Thomas More.
- Doctor Martha Livingston: Long, thin, and filtered!
- Mother Miriam Ruth: St. Ignatius would smoke cigars and then stub them out on the soles of his bare feet. And of course all of the apostles?
- Doctor Martha Livingston: Hand rolled.
- Mother Miriam Ruth: Even Christ would partake socially.
- Doctor Martha Livingston: St. Peter?
- Mother Miriam Ruth: Pipe!
- Doctor Martha Livingston: Right!
- Mother Miriam Ruth: Mary Magdalene?
- Doctor Martha Livingston: Ohhh! You've come a long way baby!
- Mother Miriam Ruth: And St. Joan would chew tobacco!
- Doctor Martha Livingston: All right! What do you suppose today's saints are smoking?
- Doctor Martha Livingston: Sister Mary Cletus, she used to call me Polka-Dot Livingston!
- Mother Miriam Ruth: So, you left the church because you had freckles?
- Doctor Martha Livingston: No... I... uh... YES! I left the church because I had freckles!
- Mother Miriam Ruth: [about Sister Agnes] I am saying that you have a beautifully simple woman here.
- Doctor Martha Livingston: An unhappy woman.
- Mother Miriam Ruth: She's happy with us, and she could go on being happy if she were left alone.
- Doctor Martha Livingston: Then why did you call the police in the first place, Mother, huh? Why didn't you just throw the baby into the incinerator and be done with it?
- Mother Miriam Ruth: Because I am a moral person.
- Doctor Martha Livingston: Bullshit.
- Mother Miriam Ruth: Bullshit yourself.
- Doctor Martha Livingston: The Catholic Church doesn't have a corner on morality.
- Mother Miriam Ruth: Who said anything about the Catholic Church?
- Doctor Martha Livingston: You just did.
- Mother Miriam Ruth: What the hell does the Catholic Church got to do with you?
- Doctor Martha Livingston: Nothing.
- Mother Miriam Ruth: What have we done to hurt you? And don't deny it, I can smell an ex-Catholic a mile away. What did we do? Burn a few heretics, sell some indulgences? That was in the days when the Church was a ruling body, we let Governments do those things today. So what did we do to you, hey?...