The Alchemist

1871- Robert Ginty's wife is hexed by an evil magician, and a duel ensues. Tragically, the wife ends up dead, and Ginty is cursed to eternal life as a Jeckyll/Hyde type beast. 1955- A woman en route and her male hitch-hiker have car troubles in the remote forest...but it may be more than mere chance that they are in Ginty's "neck of the woods".

What transpires is a watchable, albeit rather juvenile horror film, one that will be unlikely to surface as anyone's favorite film, but entertaining enough to be recommendable to most genre fans. Effects range from weak to fairly impressive, and performances are fairly serviceable for a minor picture of this type.

All in all, not too bad...though hardly essential viewing.

The audience for The Alchemist is, admittedly, limited. But those who remember hokey 80s bum-budget fare fondly will probably be fairly tolerant of this unspecial Charles Band outing.

We're introduced to a hitchhiker, John Sanderford, who gets picked up by a cute waitress, Lucinda Dooling, who's been having occult visions that interfere with her driving. Meanwhile, fleshy-faced Robert Ginty, star of one of the quintessential cheapcrud vigilante films, The Exterminator, here has an even more lowbrow role as a man plagued by a werewolf-like curse. Somehow, this quasi-werewolf glassblower's destiny seems to be linked with that of the waitress, who bears an uncanny resemblance to his dead wife. Robert Glaudini, weird star of Band's lurid masterpiece Parasite, has a small role as the title character (?).

If all of that sounds complicated, don't worry, because it isn't. The Alchemist is pretty casual viewing, fairly uneventful, actually, and won't appeal to people with 21st century attention spans. Those who stick with it, however, will at least be treated to a gateway to Hell, a couple of neat if not particularly formidable demons, and maybe a few moments approximating scares. Tame as a whole, The Alchemist does have some brief gross/gory scenes; my favorite is the white and green slime oozing out of a dead demon's head.

A guilty pleasure - one for all you Bandites out there.

I have an interest in Charles Band's pre-Full Moon work. He produced great films like 'Troll', 'Dolls', 'Ghoulies II', 'Crawlspace', and more. 'The Alchemist' has it's moments, but will leave must viewers scratching their heads. It's got loose ends and a serious consistency problem at the end. Dull scenes don't help keep the viewers' minds on the movie, adding to the confusion. The hitch-hiking scenes towards the beginning of the film are painfully long and sappy plus the stars are not offering particularly stellar performances. In fact, I don't really care for the characters.

The moments of horror are kind of fun for the fans though. There is some creepy (satanic?) sorcery in the woods and demons are released through a portal in a grave yard. Oddly the demons spend more time getting the crud kicked out of them than doing damage, but hey, blood and guts are fun wether of human or demon origin. Gore effects and spooky sets will please fans.

All in all, sad to say, I'll probably forget almost everything about this film within a month.

In 1955, young waitress Lenora (Lucinda Dooling) finds herself inexplicably driving down the California highway to an unknown destination. This doesn't bode well for Cam (John Sanderford), the hitchhiker she just picked up, because he has to endure her somnambulist driving. The duo eventually end up at a graveside in the woods and meet Aaron (Robert Ginty), who is just as shocked to see them as Lenora appears to be the reincarnation of his wife who was murdered nearly 100 years earlier (and Aaron is still in his 30s). It takes quite a film to make me constantly scratch my head and say, "Wait? What the hell is going on here?" This Charles Band feature definitely gave my brain a workout with its bizarre storyline about reincarnation, demons and dimensional portals. The story itself is pretty innocuous and could be for kids, so it is surprising that Band throws in some very gory bits. Dooling is quite attractive as the lead and it is a shame she didn't go on to do more. The late Ginty is fine as usual. I do wonder if Band was slightly influenced by Richard Blackburn's LEMORA as this tends to ape the film's style and setting. Hell, even the leads have a similar name. As always, Richard Band supplies a fine score, one befitting a better movie perhaps.

No wonder why this is a forgettable Empire picture by director Charles Brand, because it's unsuccessfully lifeless and uneventful. It's quite a shame, as when this cheap-jack b-grade production gets going it's ultra-bizarre and has a dramatically airy, tuneful Richard Brand music score. The problem fell on the patchy script, as it was goofy and largely ponderous. This led to the oddly subdued premise (delving into the courageous act sacrifice and fulfilment) not building up to anything much. Leaving it monotonous and half-baked. Even that in mind, something about it had some sort of pull over me. Energy levels kind of picked up in the last half hour, where some rubbery demons with gooey make-up, tatty gore FX (body cut in half) and bright optical work presented some fun. Performances are extra ordinary. Robert Ginty (known for his role in "The Exterminator") plays it in an understated manner, and pines a lot. Lucinda Dooling mechanically goes through the motions, and John Sanderford looks bemused more often. Robert Glaudini as the evil alchemist gets nothing really to do, but look evil. Viola Kate Simpson constantly nags away. Nothing about these characters draws you in, or makes you feel anything for them. Charles Brand's blotchy direction has some peaks in choosing a gorgeous, but eerie woodland backdrop for the chaos and there are some tight, dark passages of shuddery images. But these limitations spoiled what was a better than usual idea.