Crystal Heart

Entertaining, rather bizarre concept to make a love story out of a bubble boy and a rock star but the movie "Crystal Heart" rather pulls it off. Based after a Spanish novel, the movie stars Tawney Kitaen at her sexiest. She probably could have had a singing career. Lee Curreri of "Fame" falls for for Tawney through her videos, as so many of us did back in the 80's.

Erotic love story mixed with rock music and melodrama creates an entertaining mix. Soundtrack is excellent. The movie was shot in Los Angeles and Mexico with an international crew. When it was first released theatrically it was in the top ten films released in Spain that year. Producer Carlos Vasallo went on to produce a Penelope Cruz movie years later.

Christopher Newley (Lee Curreri) lives in medical isolation. He is a big fan of upcoming singing star Alley Daniels (Tawny Kitaen). She comes to visit and falls in love with Chris despite the separation. His father is supportive but his mother fears the new girl's influence. He asks to marry her but it's a volatile romance. Her sleazy manager lies to him and he breaks out of his bubble in anger to find her.

This is fully loaded with cheesy 80s style. Tawny Kitaen is hilariously as a rock star. It does have one of the hottest bubble sex where neither can touch each other which is also a full-on cheese fest. Tawny jumping through glass in a dream is both disturbing and sexy at the same time. This is a bad movie but it's not really a funny bad movie. The movie basically fizzles out after he breaks out of his glass cage anyways.

Crystal Heart is a strange, offbeat relic of the late '80s-part romantic drama, part psychological character study, and part unintentional fever dream. It centers around a young man with a rare immune disorder who must live in a sterile environment, and his romantic obsession with a upcoming rock singer he watches on TV. The concept is definitely original, and there's an earnestness in how it tries to explore love, loneliness, and isolation. But unfortunately, the execution doesn't quite live up to its potential.

Tonally, the film is all over the place. It swings from intense melodrama to softcore fantasy to moments that feel unintentionally comedic. The performances are oddly captivating in a soap opera kind of way, especially Tawny Kitaen, who brings charisma despite the script's inconsistencies. The soundtrack and dream sequences are pure '80s excess-sometimes atmospheric, sometimes just bizarre. It's clear the film wants to be emotionally profound, but it often comes off as misguided or overblown.

Still, Crystal Heart isn't without charm. If you're in the mood for something off-kilter and deeply rooted in '80s aesthetics, there's some cult appeal here. It's not a great movie, but it's weirdly watchable. It earns its 5/10 as a flawed curiosity .... one of those films where you're never quite sure if you're supposed to be laughing or feeling something deeper.

Well, if one is looking for a Tawny Kitaen...er...'star' vehicle...here it is.

Fresh off of her role as the female lead in Bachelor Party and a couple years before she appeared in the Whitesnake videos, Kitaen starred in Crystal Heart. Sort of a hybrid of A Star Is Born and The Boy In The Plastic Bubble, Crystal Heart concerns itself with the unlikely story of an aspiring female dancer/singer and a young man with severe immune deficiencies who by necessity lives in a hermetically sealed environment. The young man is also a musician and the aspiring starlet is searching for music with "meaning".

Girl meets boy and against all odds love blooms!

On the plus side, for whatever else can be said of Kitaen in terms of talent (she was never much of an actress and while she was at one time physically fit she never was a singer as her 100% lip-synched performances - miming to someone else's vocals - here display), back in the day Kitaen WAS a knockout. I mean, absolutely gorgeous. In Crystal Heart, Kitaen is here in all her ravishingly beautiful glory, before the silicone implants and decades of drug abuse and elective cosmetic surgeries ruined her looks. Literally, stunning to look at and she bares it all (and I do mean all) in Crystal Heart.

As to the rest of it, well, Crystal Heart is perhaps the ultimate archetypal 1980's movie. Chock full of moussed-up hair, lots of scrunchies and loud colors where the clothing is concerned. Synth-heavy pop tunes with lyrics borrowed from Hallmark greeting cards that the movie tries to pass off as "meaningful" without an ounce of self-consciousness or irony. Couple all of this with one lovemaking scene involving the leading actors separated by plexiglass and another nude scene featuring Kitaen writhing alone on a shower floor bleeding from cut glass...oh, it needs to be seen to be believed because a mere written description doesn't do any of it justice.

The fact that, as mentioned, Crystal Heart really seems to believe it is a touching, sincere love story chock full of wisdom and heart makes it all the more enjoyable for the schlocky cinematic cheesefest it actually is. However, this also inhibits it from getting 10 out of 10 stars: the lack of self-awareness this turkey displays makes it so cringeworthily embarrassing that I had to deduct one star. While Kitaen has sadly passed away, fortunately Crystal Heart lives forever in my snarky heart. RIP, Whitesnake girl!

Only one can imagine, what it would be like, living with such a rare asthmatic condition, where you're confined to a glass walled room. Hey, John Travolta, did in a bubble, many years earlier. This time in a rather dull, and very cheesy late 80's effort, poor young Chris (Curreri from t.v. series fame) a brilliant songwriter, is the victim, and it's a sad and grim thing to behold. For me, this movie clearly posed the question, "Is life worth living the rest of it behind a glass wall, or for a few short days, out there in the open, before the guy upstairs takes you". Crystal Heart is far from a good film, though it's is a different and interesting watch, but really just falls to below average movie fare. Hottie Kitean, is the rock singer who's fallen for Curreri and his music, and it's a fatal, short lived love. As Chris, Curreri is just average, though likable, where Kitean, a good but under appreciated 80's actress whose career fell, after a few movie roles (she actually ended up on Celebrity Rehab) adds much more spark. It was Dynasty's Bochner's performance though, I really liked, as Chris's very supportive Dad, while Heatherly was solid as the Mother. Too, I liked Saura, an Emma Thompson looking woman, as Chris's carer. Her line after Chris breaks out of the glass, and vacates, is the one that stays with me. A brilliant acting moment on her part. A sincerity that's scary. Yes, some of you will be drawing tears in the short lived finale, such little precious time, shared between our lovebirds. There have been, many more effectively tragic endings, than this, but this is a cute little drama/time passer, but just isn't a good film. The whole film kind of has the air of a much shot video, with some nice bikini clad babes. One shot involving doggie do do in the gutter has never been a more favored shot. Jean Claude as Kitean's much older lover and agent is a hoot, where I just can't say the same for the slightly dreary, under par film. Kitean's finale song and scene, I really liked though.