The Adventures of Hercules

As awesomely bad as the 1st movie was, I did enjoy it. Not at all the case for Hercules 2. This borders on unwatchable for me.(which means for normal viewers, it may be preferable to get a root canal as an alternative to watching this!) With an extremely low budget, it's obvious that this was made extremely quick. This production makes Red Sonja(a personal favorite, by the way) look like Ben Hur. The story is lame, the execution of what's on the screen is inept. The Adventures Of Hercules is D level schlock that has less to do with Greek mythology and more to do with someone's weird acid trip that was called a script. I'm all about having a good time watching a cheesy flick, but this is well beyond idiotic. As I said before the 1st Hercules film was bad, but I found enough about it to enjoy it. This is just crap and a big waste of time.

I have never seen a movie spend so much time trying to explain the incomprehensible story and still not make any sense. Just like the first movie they constantly talk about science, yet the movie has nothing to do with science. I doubt they even get any of the mythology right. Zeus is a god who has no powers without his thunderbolts. Which can easily be stolen by just about anyone. What is a thunderbolt? The sound that lightning makes has bolts? The only way this movie might be any fun is if you watch at 1.5x speed and take a shot every time someone says "Wait for me".

This cheap-jack follow-up to Luigi Cozzi "Hercules" is just as goofy and tacky, maybe even more than its predecessor. Actually it is. No doubts. Again the clunky sci-fi elements (for science!) finds its way into the Greek mythical adventure… which means good times ahead ("He uses science against godly powers"). That's belly-laughs. Lou Ferrigno returns as Hercules, again bringing the fitting qualities for the role and also being resurrected is King Minos who's played with even more energy again by scene chewing William Berger. Their final climatic showdown has to be seen to be believed… it might be lousy in the outcome, but the light-show (filled with a snake, dinosaur and gorilla) it bestows is bewilderingly stupid. But in the end, this is its charm.

Simply the story follows Hercules being sent to earth to retrieve the Seven Thunderbolts of Zeus, which have been stolen by renegade gods. There he must face certain challenges, while also dealing with an old nemesis King Minos and racing against time as the earth and moon are on a collision course.

Everything here is junky and ludicrous with vividly low-rent set designs, clumsy, but bright optical effects with trip-out side-effects, lame sound effects and eccentric plotting with devious scheming. It's one set-piece after another, as monsters and obstacles enter the fame throughout the journey. Some of these challenges are not much of one, but others are more so. However there's always a laugh there either way. Be it the encounters with the cheap make-up FX, random dramatics and the funny, no frill dialogues. The short running time makes it easier to enjoy, Pino Donaggio composes again by chipping in with another barnstorming music score and director Luigi Cozzi's ham-handed, but physical approach really outdoes itself.

More cheesy badly-dubbed greatness from Cannon. This sequel to the classic Hercules has our hero and his humongous pectorals out to recover Zeus' stolen thunderbolts. To do this he must fight guys in ghillie suits and creatures created with poor computer and stop-motion effects. A full day's work for Herc.

Lou Ferrigno is certainly a physical sight to behold and his stone-serious facial expressions at all times makes the movie that much more hilarious because it does not deserve to be taken seriously in the least. Unfortunately, sexy Sybil Danning does not return from the first movie but there are still some scantily-clad Italian babes to feast your eyes on. The special effects are cheap but charmingly so. Love the obsession with neon. The stop-motion Medusa appears to be made from Play-Doh. Lots of bad but quotable lines coming from voices that are clearly not those of the actors. Look, it's glorious garbage of a movie but there's a good deal of fun to be had laughing at it. I'll take unintended entertainment over no entertainment any day.

"Great deeds make us immortal." - "We can't all be so fortunate." Indeed, so this didn't help anyone's career, I presume. Assisted by two young ladies (Milly Carlucci, Sonia Viviani), Hercules looks for the lost 7 thunderbolts of Zeus. One for example is hidden inside an electric fire monster he must hit on the head to cause a short circuit. Hercules flies around in space a lot (this is after all a movie by the director of "Star Crash") and beats monsters painted by a five year old: Rotoscoping at its worst. The only thing I missed in the 80s video game look was a "Game over" text insert. The gods are beamed to Earth in a flash of green light with a squeaking electronic noise. Glowing shapes that reminded me of advertising for washing powder (cleaning ghosts or something like that) attack Hercules, men in rotten rubber costumes do the same - the adversaries look a lot cheaper than those in the first movie which was already abysmal. This sequel is less fun because it is less ambitious. The huge pathos of the first movie, trying to be monumental, is what made it so funny. Here, it's just a quick rehash, much less entertaining.