Horror House on Highway Five

HHOH5 will cause any "Scream"-fan to shut the tape off in under three minutes. However, fans of horrible horrors will eat up the killer-in-a-Richard-Nixon mask thing, as well as plenty of priceless dialogue. You've been warned.

Um...wow. I don't think anything could have possibly prepared me for this one...it couldn't have been any weirder if the actors walked backwards and talked like Popeye.

A confounding amateur freak-out which sails straight through the roof of conventional exposition, HORROR HOUSE ON HIGHWAY FIVE involves two maniac brothers and their female captive, some kids stranded in the middle of nowhere with a broken-down van, and a vicious killer creeping about in a rubber Nixon mask. Additionally, the film get an injection of undefined supernatural hooey, with the matters at hand awkwardly italicized by inappropriate avant-gard musical sweeps.

When a movie turns out this strange, it becomes rather difficult to criticize. Regardless of your conclusive feelings toward HORROR HOUSE, there's no denying that it's an experience entirely unlike any other. When you consider lengths to which many recognized "great" directors have gone in hopes of achieving this very distinction, the oddly wavering characteristics of this film must be called into question.

...well...sort of.

4/10

I rented this with such skepticism. And you know, I thought it would be so cool. Really violent and terrifying. It would be disgustingly gory at times, and just somewhat above the bar horror yarn. What I got was something so totally different.

The movie starts with this woman in her home. Her husband goes out somewhere, telling her he'll be back. Pretty soon, he's a goner, and his killer takes a Nixon mask the guy used to scare his wife and puts it on. Then the wacko goes into the house to get the wife. The scene moves so damn slow, even though it is supposed to be scary. There is, like, no sound, the wife reacts to everything, like, five or ten seconds after it happens, and there's this really gross scene where she falls on this glass table and her whole wrist is shredded up and off. And there's, like, two drops of blood! Then the scene continues, and we all knows what happens next.

The movie moves on, and we find out about this wacko father and his two sons. Then enter these three college students getting to know about Highway Five. One of the girls--I can't remember why--meets the two brothers, who eventually invite her back to their apartment. It's all so very surreal. Eventually, that night, they kidnap her and take her to their house up on Highway Five.

The two others--a freaky pothead guy and some hippie-esque girl--head up to this abandoned lot on Highway Five in their van, to do something. Research, I suppose. I have faint memory. Cut to many scenes with the other girl, then nighttime. This movie is so weird and I won't tell you everything, but soon, the killers start killing everybody off until this long--and quite weird--chase scene with the hippie and Nixon. Then an ending that I have to admit, left me on the edge of my seat until the very unique and very cool ending.

I totally suggest checking this movie out. It has cult potential. I could watch this many times. It is so weird. If you find this, PLEASE see it. At first, you will hate it, then you will like it for how cheesy it is. If anything, you have never seen anything like this before.

I only hope my VCR can recover. Lets rate the individual parts shall we:

Acting - BAD Story Line - BAD Dialoge - BAD Cinematography - BAD Effects - BAD

Well, you get the picture. No, don't get the picture. This movie was surprisingly made in 1985. It looks more like an early 70's movie. You would hope at least their would be some gratuitous nudity or some gory killing. But no. The killing scenes are comical and the women remain annoyingly unexposed. The Nixon mask thing could have been more comical if the directors and producers had any clue but alas, they do not.

The DVD box reads "A Cult Classic Never Before Released On DVD!" Two questions, a cult classic on what planet and why was it ever released to begin with??

The catch phrase for the movie is "see it or die!!!" I saw it and wanted to die!!! I can accept some inadequacies in any horror movie because all horror movies can't be "Night of the Living Dead" or "Texas Chainsaw Massacre". Unfortunately "Horror House on Highway 5" is way beyond acceptable.

This tragic piece of celluloid has no plot, actors with little talent, terrible dialogue, no continuity and the worst soundtrack I've ever heard.

The only redeeming quality in this movie is Susan Leslie who played Louise "the scientist" Susan is the only, and I mean only, reason I rated this movie a three! Without her, it would be a zero!