Art Carney credited as playing...
Moe Smith
- Izzy Einstein: Moe, I've known you for more than 25 years. You're a fraud, a con, and a crook - same as I am. And in every crook, there's a Fed tryin' to get out. I'm going to help you get that Fed out, if it's the last thing I do.
- Moe Smith: Iz, you're not well. You need help - you need a lotta' help.
- Izzy Einstein: [He and Moe, disguised as sailors, are about to bust a speakeasy] Have you got some spirits? I think an alcoholic beverage would be a great help for my friend.
- Bartender: [Starting to get suspicious] Uh, you boys look a little... *old*. Where'd you get those ribbons?
- Izzy Einstein: [Indignantly] Have you forgotten the Battle of 'Chemin de Fer'? Didn't you participate in the War to End all Wars? Well, we did!
- Moe Smith: Remember the 'Maine'?
- Bartender: 'Course I do.
- Izzy Einstein: [Pointing to Moe] Well, he doesn't *have* to. He was ON it!
- Moe Smith: [During a shootout with bootleggers, his arm has been nicked by a bullet] Somebody just put a hole in me... And worse than that, they just put a hole in my suit. First time in my life I spent more than 29 dollars on a suit.
- Izzy Einstein: [Slightly incredulous] You spent 29 dollars on that suit?
- Moe Smith: Yes!
- Izzy Einstein: Huh! Not only have you been shot - but you've been robbed.