Michael Douglas: Jack

The Jewel of the Nile

Jack

Jack T. Colton: I thought you said you wanted to sail around the world with me?
Joan Wilder: Well, I do, but, but not all of it this week. I mean, Jack, this is just becoming a blur. Exotic ports. And great parties. And spectacular sunsets. It's not enough.

Jack T. Colton: What the hell are you talkin' about? I don't even know who the hell you are!
Tarak: You must come with me to help find the Jewel.
Ralph: [face lights up] Jewel? What jewel?
Tarak: The Jewel of the Nile. Our most pricess Jewel. Omar stole my people's Jewel. Omar is a very bad man.
Ralph: Yeah, that scum, I spit on him! Jack... buddy? Let's help this nice man get his jewel back.
Tarak: Yes... yes?
Jack T. Colton: Here, I don't know where you're from or what you're on, but I'm sailing my boat tonight.
Tarak: No! You must come to help find the Jewel now! Before Omar kill many people! As long as Omar have the Jewel... nothing can stop him.
Jack T. Colton: Look, I'm going on the boat. You guys can do what you want.
[behind Jack, his sailboat blows up; Jack slowly turns around looking stunned while both Tarak and Ralph are stunned as well]
Ralph: The boat blew up.
Jack T. Colton: My boat blew up?
Ralph: The boat blew up!
Jack T. Colton: Everything's gone.
Ralph: Who are you? The prince of darkness? Don't you got any friends?

Tarak: Your woman is in danger too. I will take you to him.
Ralph: I'm comin' too!
Jack T. Colton: The hell you are!
Ralph: Look, you owe me Colton. So, where ever you're going, I'm going. Where we going?

[Omar has put Jack and Joan in a deathtrap copied from one of Joan's own books]
Jack Colton: So how'd they get out?
Joan Wilder: What?
Jack Colton: In "The Savage Secret".
Joan Wilder: Oh. Um... Jesse had a knife hidden in his boot. You wouldn't happen to have a knife, would you?
Jack Colton: I'm not even wearing underwear.

Jack T. Colton: I'm sorry you had such a tough time. Ah, how 'bout a hundred bucks?
Ralph: A hundred bucks? I'll give you a one-way ticket to harp land. No more jokes! What'd you do with it?
Jack T. Colton: What are you talkin' about?
Ralph: The stone, moron!

[while surrounded by native Africans]
Jack Colton: Just keep smiling. Maybe they'll think we're with National Geographic.

[Jack, Joan and the Jewel are under fire from Omar's soldiers]
Jack Colton: Okay, now let's go.
Joan Wilder: [refering to the Jewel] Wait a minute, Jack. He's coming with us.
Jack Colton: Don't start with me, Joan! I've come halfway across Africa to rescue you!
Joan Wilder: Rescue me? I was doing fine without you!
Jewel: [to Jack] Please, I am guide. I can help you.
Jack Colton: I don't need a guide! I need a miracle!

Jack Colton: Why does everything got to be your way?
Joan Wilder: My way? It wasn't my idea to take off and sail around the world with you on your boat for the last six months!
Jewel: I like this. You talk to each other like this often?
Jack Colton: [to the Jewel] Well, let me tell you what I had to put up. Three months ago, we're moored off the Canary Islands, midnight, sound asleep. A boat of three crazed Joan Wilder fans decide that they want the anchor of the Angeline for a souvenir! We were drifting for days!
Joan Wilder: Well, do you remember the incident at Gibraltar, Jack?
Jack Colton: Oh, come on. Not that again.
Joan Wilder: He has to meet me at the governor's mansion for a formal dinner, and you show up with the entire Italian National League Basketball team!
Jack Colton: Hey, they were hungry.

Jack Colton: [Jack points flair gun at the F-16 Pilot] OK, flyboy. Your estimated time of departure is right now!

Jack Colton: All right!, If we get out of this alive, I'm going to kill you. Let's go, come on!