Beverly D'Angelo: Ellen Griswold

National Lampoon's European Vacation

Ellen Griswold

Stewardess: Do you want something to drink?
Clark Griswold: [to Ellen] Honey, you want something?
Ellen Griswold: No thank you.
Clark Griswold: [to the Stewardess] I'll have a Coke.
Stewardess: Do you want that in the can?
Clark Griswold: [Clark turns and looks at the bathroom, then turns back at the Stewardess] No, I'll have it right here.

Ellen Griswold: [dead silence as no-one is answering the final question] ... Clark!
Kent Winkdale, host of 'Pig in a Poke': That's it. Clark... of Lewis and Clark. And the Griswold's are our grand prize winners!

Ellen Griswold: Clark, why don't we just forget the "Pig-in-a-Poke" itinerary, and just play it by ear, like normal people?
Clark Griswold: Honey, we're not normal people. We're the Griswolds.

Ellen Griswold: [In their hotel room in England, Ellen opens a door, only to find a closet, and discovering there is no bathroom] Clark, there's no bathroom.
Clark Griswold: Of course there's a bathroom. Europeans go to the bathroom, don't they?
[Clark opens the door to his left to find another closet with a mattress inside]
Clark Griswold: Maybe they don't.

Jack: [Audrey is reading Jack's letter] Dear Audrey, I miss the shit out of you. Luckily, Debbie is been coming by to cheer me up.
Audrey Griswold: That bitch!
Ellen Griswold: Something that matter, Audrey?
Audrey Griswold: No.

Ellen Griswold: I felt like staying in. I thought it would be really nice to be alone.
Clark Griswold: Honey, I could never go anywhere without you.

Clark Griswold: [with his VHS Video Camera] I'm ready, honey. Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. Okay.
Ellen Griswold: [opens the shower curtain wearing only a towel, singing and dancing] The minute you walked in the joint, I could see you were a man of distinction, A real big spender, Good-looking, So refined, Wouldn't you like to know what's going on in my mind? So let me get right to the point, I don't pop my cork for every guy I see, Hey, big spender, Ba-ba ba-ba, Spend a little time with me...

Ellen Griswold: Oh, now, Audrey. Your father didn't really mean what he said.
Audrey Griswold: Yes, he did.
Ellen Griswold: No, no. Not really, honey. He has nothing against Jack. He's not really gonna cut off his balls. Are you, Clark?
[Clark remains silent]
Ellen Griswold: Clark!
Clark Griswold: Okay, I won't.

The Bike Rider: [after being hit by a car driven by Clark] Ow!
Ellen Griswold: Maybe it's broken?
The Bike Rider: Oh, no, no, no. It's just a leg. Honestly, I've got another one. Yeah, no, l'll - I'll just pop into the chemist's. Be right as rain in the morning.

Rusty Griswold: Paris sucks!
Audrey Griswold: Everybody's so rude.
Ellen Griswold: Come on, kids. We're the visitors here.
Clark Griswold: This isn't Walley World. It's a country! Come on, we're the ambassadors of America here.

Clark Griswold: [looking out from atop the Eiffel Tower] Oh, my God, it's magnificent.
[singing]
Clark Griswold: Allons enfant de la pâté, Foie grass...
Ellen Griswold: [speaking] It's breathtaking. Isn't it? Sparky, I'm glad we decided to be pigs.

Rusty Griswold: He's got his hands on her tits right at the table.
Ellen Griswold: Stop staring, Rusty.
Clark Griswold: Rusty, European standards of public behavior are *very* different than an American's.
Clark Griswold: Yeah, Dad. But they're from Akron.

Ellen Griswold: [quickly walking up the steps to the Louvre] Clark, Clark. Clark!
Clark Griswold: What, honey?
Ellen Griswold: Will you please slow down? The kids are exhausted!
Clark Griswold: Honey, it closes in 15 minutes. There are 100,000 works of art to see. Come on!

Ellen Griswold: [walks in hotel room] Oh, whatever happened to us? We were high school sweethearts. We never even did it until we got married. Well, at least until we decided to get married. And l left him all alone in that - that - that piazza. I said the F-word in front of my children. What kind of a woman am l?
The Thief: [jumps on top of Ellen] *Exciting*.
Ellen Griswold: What?