Private Resort

Not exactly a historic film, but quite hilarious none the less. A sex comedy that showed a lot of the time and got some laughs. Johnny Depp did very well for being one of his first movies. Very good in general, and i would strongly advise you see it.

First of all, let's get something straight. This is in fact the best spring break comedy of the 80's. However, that means it is the best of the 4 or 5 spring break comedies that came out between 1983-1985, really the only two years of the 1980's that had spring break comedies. Therefore, I'm talking about movies like Spring Break, Where the Boys Are, Hot Resort, and Fraternity Vacation, so which also means this is pretty much just a sex comedy. Of all these, Private Resort is by far and away the best one. It follows two young guys, Depp and Morrow, who are just looking to get laid and in the meantime get in trouble with hotel security, Andrew Dice Clay, and Hector Elizondo before his Chicago Hope days. Also, not to mention the beautiful girls throughout the movie, but what else do you expect? As a result, this is a truly underrated sex comedy, but don't bother to watch it on Comedy Central, because like Casino and Goodfellas, it has to be seen uncut. **+ out of ****

BA,BA,BA, BA-BA-BA-BA-BA......

Released in 1985, "Private Resort" stars Johnny Depp (who was only 21 during filming) and Rob Morrow as two adolescent guests at a Florida resort for the weekend. Their only interest is chasing beach beauties, but fate has much more in store for them.

My title blurb is true: I've never seen such an assortment of bodacious females in any other movie. I'll put it like this: Take any dozen similar-themed movies and I assure that "Private Resort" contains more beautiful women than all of them in just the first half hour.

The top female, by the way, is the one with whom Andrew Dice Clay's character intends to cheat; the one the protagonists try to hide from the girlfriend in the apartment (it's impossible to pinpoint her name in the credits and, besides, I think she's uncredited).

Second place goes to Emily Longstreth, who plays Patti. Speaking of whom, she fell out of acting entirely by the 90s and reportedly fell into substance abuse, mental illness, and living in a homeless shelter in New York City. There's also credible reports that she died in January, 2015 (please correct me, if this isn't true). In any case, she shines here as Rob's potential girlfriend and shows-off her physical beauty in a white bikini in the last act.

Aside from the women, there are a lot of compelling antics, like zany chases in the hotel and butchered haircuts. Despite the boys' obsession with females, the movie drives home the point of landing the right mate, who's beautiful inside and out.

I've heard the movie criticized as misogynistic, but this is laughable in light of the focus on women and the celebration thereof. I suppose these critics object to the excessive and unnecessary top nudity and the like, which I agree with and this explains my somewhat mediocre rating. In other words, the ladies are incredible and this is a really fun beach comedy, but I can't in good conscience recommend it due to the tasteless elements.

The move is short 'n' sweet at 1 hour, 22 minutes, and was shot at Ocean Reef Club, Key Largo, Florida.

GRADE: C+

Before Johnny Depp went on to major big screen career and befre Rob Morrrow starred in Northern Exposure on the small screen they starrred together as a pair of horny teens at a Florida resort looking to score. Morrow especially as he's trying to lose his virginity.

This is one fast paced comedy as Depp and Morrow get into ione scrape after another. One od the peole pursuing is Hector Elizondo a jewel thief who is after the diamond ring that Dodie Goodman gas. Dodie is grandmother and chaperone of Emily Longstreth ho Depp has his eye on.

Morrow makes friends with one of the young staff Karyn O'Bryan who is fending off the advances of a really obnoxious server Michael Bowen. Both plotlines intersect with the other many times throughout Private Resort.

A personal connection I had to this film was Tony Azito, tall rubber legged actor who stole the film as the hapless house detective He did some amazing comic pratfalls as just about everyone in the cast gets the better of him.

My connection to Tony Azito stems from my working days at the New York State Crime Victims Board when I visited him at his Greenich Village apartment after he had been hit by a car at Christopher and West Streets in Manhattan. Both legs were broken and I did his claim for unreimbursed medical expenses and loss of earnings. He was a good and gracious soul.

So to you Tony Azito this rview is dedicated.

Obviously this isn't a movie to be taken seriously and it may even be arguably offensive to women but I would take 'Private Resort' any day over the supposed 'comedy' flicks that feature the likes of Adam Sandler and Seth Rogan. There isn't much in terms of story. It's pretty much about two young men in their early twenties who go to a private resort to get laid. Meanwhile a jewel thief looks to steal a diamond necklace from a martial arts expert grandmother. It's definitely very silly but highly amusing. There's plenty of slapstick and overall cheesiness but the humour works and it has the right energy. Johnny Depp and Rob Morrow's on-screen camaraderie is a delight to watch as they provide the funniest scenes. Both actors have come a long way since and it was fun to see them as their young selves playing horny kids. Hector Elizondo is funny too. There's plenty of nudity to keep the viewer further entertained. It also depicts the 80's fashion (with big puffy hair and funny clothes). Overall, it's a fun little flick that has some nostalgic value.