Emilio Estevez credited as playing...
Kirby Keger
- Kirby: She is the only evidence of God I have seen with the exception of the mysterious force that removes one sock from the dryer every time I do my laundry.
- Kirby: There are several quintessential moments in a man's life: losing his virginity, getting married, becoming a father, and having the right girl smile at you.
- Kirby: You are just pissed off and bitter because you have not had sex in... how long? What is it... a year... maybe two? Refresh my memory please, Kevin. Haven't you heard of the sexual revolution?
- Kevin: Who won, huh? Nobody. Used to be sex was the only free thing, No longer. Alimony... palimony... it's all financial. Love is an illusion.
- Kirby: It's the only illusion that counts, my friend.
- Kevin: Says who?
- Kirby: Anyone who's been in love.
- Kevin: Love sucks.
- Kirby: So does your attitude.
- Jules: You could order a nice Napa Valley chardonnay. Or if she's worth it, get an import to impress her.
- Kirby Keger: Well, money's no object.
- Jules: Really? Then Montrachet or Meursault. And make sure you smell the cork.
- Alec Newbary: I wanna meet the woman who's turning Kirbo Keager into a doctor.
- Kirby Keger: Hey, I've been an amateur gynecologist for years.