Judd Nelson credited as playing...
Alec Newbary
- Alec: You cannot have the Pretenders' first album! That's mine.
- Leslie: I bought it.
- Alec: You did not! You can have all the Billy Joels... except The Stranger.
- Leslie: I'm taking Thriller and Mahler's ninth.
- Alec: Kevin is so fond of Mahler.
- Leslie: I moved in with Jules.
- Alec: Oh how nice, roomies again... No Springsteen is leaving this house! You can have all the Carly Simons.
- Leslie: You got me those for Valentine's Day. Remember, they're used to be Valentine's Day here, Remember?
- Alec: You ran out on this relationship. You take the consequences.
- Leslie: I didn't run out on anything. You ran out.
- Alec: You fucked Kevin.
- Leslie: You fucked many!
- Alec: Nameless, faceless many!
- Leslie: I feel much better now, thanks.
- Alec: You're not taking The Police.
- Leslie: Anyway, I didn't just fuck Kevin! I was confused and angry, and I care about him deeply.
- Alec: Get your clothes, give me the keys and get out! Now!
- Leslie: I can't believe this is happening to us.
- Alec: Wasted love!
- [Throws football, across the room]
- Alec: God, I just wish I could get it back!
- Leslie: I'm sorry to bother you here.
- Alec: Did you forget one of your albums?
- Leslie: It's Jules. After she left, for work this morning, some finance company came. They took away her furniture, her Jeep, everything. I tried to reach her but, I couldn't get through so, I went into her office. She's been pretending, to go to work every day, telling me she still, has an affair with her boss. Alec, he fired her three weeks ago. So, I confronted her, at first she denied everything and, she went crazy. She locked me out of the apartment, and she won't let me back in. Alec please, I need your help.
- Alec Newbary: I can't believe what I just did. I innocently go downtown to buy the nightgown and this amazingly leggy blond salesgirl offers to model it for me. So we wind up doing it standing up in the dressing room in front of a three-way mirror.
- Kevin Dolenz: So there's six of you.
- Alec Newbary: You don't need that thing. We're getting married soon. Let's play some Russian roulette.
- Leslie Hunter: And who carries the bullet around for nine months?
- Alec Newbary: Senator Hodges?
- Alec Newbary: I am ready.
- Leslie Hunter: You're always ready.
- Alec Newbary: I'm gonna get you a red, lacy babydoll nightgown.
- Leslie Hunter: Alec, I'm very happy in your pajamas, thank you very much.
- Alec Newbary: Well, I'm happy when you're out of my pajamas, thank you very much.
- Alec Newbary: Billy, four months after graduation and you still act like every night's a frat party.
- Jules: [on the phone] Hi, Alec. It's Jules. I'm over at the Van Buren Hotel. Oh, God.
- Alec Newbary: What time is it?
- Jules: I don't know. Listen, I'm with these Arabs and they've been forcing me to do coke all night. And I'm not sure, because I don't understand very much Arabic; but, I'm sure I think I heard the words for 'gang bang'. Alec, you gotta come get me. Please?
- Leslie Hunter: What are we going to do about your extracurricular love life? Huh?
- Alec Newbary: What extracurricular love life?
- Alec Newbary: I wanna meet the woman who's turning Kirbo Keager into a doctor.
- Kirby Keger: Hey, I've been an amateur gynecologist for years.