The Tomb

This movie was average, but worth checking out! We have a couple of familiar faces like John Carradine and a special appearance by Sybil Danning. But there were alot of virtual unknowns. This marks scream queen Michelle Bauer's first horror film as she portrays a possessed mummy from an ancient Tomb. She's mellodramatic at many times, but she's that way in most films. There's some great music in this movie and it probably did play in theatres in it's time, Unlike the movies you see Bauer in these days that has an awful budget! Someone says that B-movie director Fred Olen Ray's films don't hit theatre's, but what do they know?! This one definetely stood a chance and twice it showed the opening credits saying "The Tomb!" The ending is the best part no doubt about it, even you horror fans will agree! There's also a cameo by cult actress from the film "Surf Nazis Must Die!", Dawn Wildsmith who plays a lesbian and gets eaten alive by Bauer's snakes!

This is not the worst film ever made. I can't think of what that one is at the moment. I'll have to wait for my eyes to stop bleeding.

Actually, there are two mildly redeeming factors. John Carradine, whose two minutes on screen probably comprised half the movie's budget, and Kitten Natividad dancing topless for about thirty seconds total. Yeah, that's it.

Another line. Another line. Another line. Another line. Is that enough for that ridiculously arbitrary ten line rule? Apparently not. Let's keep adding pointless text until this so-called comment meets the minimum requirement for mindless bureaucratic self-aggrandizement. Some suit trying to qualify his or her paycheck came up with this rule, undoubtedly.

This is an Indiana Jones-type film that was made on the cheap (VERY cheap). It features hot young guys running about sets that looked LESS convincing than the props in a spook house! It also features an airplane that explodes with one shot from a pistol, a band in pharaoh head gear and others dressed like mummies or wearing a fez singing "Tutti Frutti" (presumably in the Middle East), BAD dialog and acting and one embarrassing moment after another. When the film began, I knew it was crap--simply because of the cheapo soundtrack. It's all synthesizers and sounds pretty much like what other cheap 80s films sounded like (such as "Warlords of the 21st Century"). And, it features John Carradine--a guy who would have starred in ANYTHING (including tampon commercials) if they paid him in cash! It also features Cameron Mitchell--a once decent actor who, by 1986, was seriously looking for work. As for the rest, they're mostly unknown actors (aside from Sybil Danning, who made a career out of appearing in low-budget films)....and I can see why. Overall, it's the sort of picture that would have gone straight to videotape or been seen on the USA Network back in the late 80s. If you like crap, then give this one a try. As for me, I couldn't even finish this one...it was that lame.

Bram Stoker gets the cheesy 80s action movie treatment in this early Fred Olen Ray stinker. This is an adaptation of Stoker's novel, The Jewel of the Seven Stars. Obviously this is a very loose adaptation (so loose no credit is given), but make no mistake it's derived from his story about a female mummy. The action scenes are hilariously bad. A single gunshot makes a plane explode. The music is also the pits. As for the cast, David Pearson is the star not top-billed Thomas Mitchell. Actually all of the big names in this have small roles. I watched it mainly for Sybil Danning, so you can imagine how disappointed I was by her one scene. It's a pretty boring cheapie. Skip it

I remember reading a write up on this film, the standard fare put out by the promotions people. It sounded exciting, horrific, all the things I enjoy about a good mummy movie. Then I got the box home and knew I was in trouble. The cheesy art of the box cover was the first clue. It could just have easily been the cover for "Big Trouble in Little China" which was a much better film, but this was no comedy, at least not intentionally. To begin with the budget on this must have been all of a $1.85 with tax. Then there are the sets. The film was supposed to take place in Egypt, but the sets bore no resemblance whatever. Cameron Mitchell is no actor, no way, never been. I was especially disappointed to see aging horror star John Carradine and Sybil Danning in this as they are both usually in much better quality work. You can safely give this one a miss, unless you are a fan of "Plan 9 From Out Space." This is right down there with it.