The Tomb

Tomb raider, John Banning (David O'Hara), bites off more than he can chew when immortal ancient Egyptian, Nefratis (Genre scream queen, Michelle Bauer) gets peeved that he stole from her and so follows him to America to wreck havok. Think of this film as a fifth-grade Indiana Jones crossed with a third-rate Mummy. Not among the best Fred Olen Ray films, and the usually great Sybil Danning & Bauer are all waisted here, yet it's serviceable enough in a 'there's nothing else on and i'm bored to death' kind of way. But really, Natividad's minute long cameo provide the only two noteworthy reasons to watch.things about this film.

My Grade: C-

Eye Candy: Dawn Wildsmith gets topless; Kitten Natividad shows T&A

Bram Stoker gets the cheesy 80s action movie treatment in this early Fred Olen Ray stinker. This is an adaptation of Stoker's novel, The Jewel of the Seven Stars. Obviously this is a very loose adaptation (so loose no credit is given), but make no mistake it's derived from his story about a female mummy. The action scenes are hilariously bad. A single gunshot makes a plane explode. The music is also the pits. As for the cast, David Pearson is the star not top-billed Thomas Mitchell. Actually all of the big names in this have small roles. I watched it mainly for Sybil Danning, so you can imagine how disappointed I was by her one scene. It's a pretty boring cheapie. Skip it

THE TOMB (1986) is another adaptation of the Bram Stoker story Jewel of the Seven Stars, following Hammer's BLOOD FROM THE MUMMY'S TOMB and 1980's THE AWAKENING. Not that you'd know from watching: the plot has been transformed into a simple supernatural-being-seeks-revenge tale, as an Egyptian queen pursues the tomb raider who half-inched her artefacts back to America.

The warning is that this was directed by Fred Olen Ray, so expect it to be VERY low budget. I find Ray an acquired taste, I'm not sure I enjoyed any of his films, and that doesn't change here. The first half hour is more like a cheap action movie and attempts at horror later on are severely diluted by poor execution. As usual, there's more sexiness than terror or atmosphere. Michelle Bauer fails to convince as the antagonist, while the usual cameos (Sybil Danning, Cameron Mitchell, John Carradine) don't pass muster either.

I remember reading a write up on this film, the standard fare put out by the promotions people. It sounded exciting, horrific, all the things I enjoy about a good mummy movie. Then I got the box home and knew I was in trouble. The cheesy art of the box cover was the first clue. It could just have easily been the cover for "Big Trouble in Little China" which was a much better film, but this was no comedy, at least not intentionally. To begin with the budget on this must have been all of a $1.85 with tax. Then there are the sets. The film was supposed to take place in Egypt, but the sets bore no resemblance whatever. Cameron Mitchell is no actor, no way, never been. I was especially disappointed to see aging horror star John Carradine and Sybil Danning in this as they are both usually in much better quality work. You can safely give this one a miss, unless you are a fan of "Plan 9 From Out Space." This is right down there with it.

This is an Indiana Jones-type film that was made on the cheap (VERY cheap). It features hot young guys running about sets that looked LESS convincing than the props in a spook house! It also features an airplane that explodes with one shot from a pistol, a band in pharaoh head gear and others dressed like mummies or wearing a fez singing "Tutti Frutti" (presumably in the Middle East), BAD dialog and acting and one embarrassing moment after another. When the film began, I knew it was crap--simply because of the cheapo soundtrack. It's all synthesizers and sounds pretty much like what other cheap 80s films sounded like (such as "Warlords of the 21st Century"). And, it features John Carradine--a guy who would have starred in ANYTHING (including tampon commercials) if they paid him in cash! It also features Cameron Mitchell--a once decent actor who, by 1986, was seriously looking for work. As for the rest, they're mostly unknown actors (aside from Sybil Danning, who made a career out of appearing in low-budget films)....and I can see why. Overall, it's the sort of picture that would have gone straight to videotape or been seen on the USA Network back in the late 80s. If you like crap, then give this one a try. As for me, I couldn't even finish this one...it was that lame.