Josh Blake credited as playing...
Jake Ochmonek
- Jake Ochmonek: What are you, anyway?
- ALF: I'm an alien, from the planet Melmac. I have powers you can only dream of.
- Jake Ochmonek: Like what?
- ALF: Uhhhm... I can watch 10 hours of TV, without ever getting up to go to the bathroom.
- [Kate tries to help Jake to talk to a girl]
- Kate: If it would be any help at all, you could practice on me.
- Jake Ochmonek: It wouldn't be the same, Mrs. Tanner. Laura's much more... she's beautiful.
- Kate: [coldly] I see.
- [she leaves]
- ALF: [to Jake] You've got a way with women.
- Jake Ochmonek: Laura's very curious about her secret admirer, so I was thinking like actually saying something to her.
- ALF: Danger, Will Robinson.
- Jake Ochmonek: Why do we have to wear meat at this ceremony anyway?
- ALF: 'Cause the high priest on Melmac was also the butcher.
- Willie: You know, Trevor. It seems this young man is a little Mister Fix-it.
- Lynn: Little Mister Fix-it. How cute.
- Jake Ochmonek: You want me, don't you?
- Jake Ochmonek: Can't I stay with the Tanners? I'm allergic to Kitch.
- Lynn: Go, enjoy. Drink the water. Adios!