Whenever someone gives you, the parent of a child under 10, a video, check to make sure that it isn't this movie. If someone does give you "Babes in Toyland", there are only a few explanations:
1. They meant to give you another version of it--there are several, and all of them are better than this one.
2. They meant to give you another movie altogether and accidentally picked this one up.
3. It made its own way into a batch of tapes to be delivered, so it's not their fault.
4. They were misinformed about its quality.
5. They secretly hate your guts and want to torture you.
Conversely, if you know some parents of small children whose guts you hate, just give them a copy of this movie. You'll be giving your feelings towards them away, but they'll be stuck watching this movie for years on end.
Children love this movie. They LOVE this movie. But it's so very, very bad that after just one or two viewings you will have fantasies of tracking down the cast and crew and demanding compensation, at which they will get down on their knees and beg your forgiveness for their involvement in this hideous torture.
It really is that bad. The story is ludicrous. The "music" is excruciating (especially the "Cincinnati" song). The writing is beyond awful. The direction isn't even imaginatively bad (anyone could do as well, probably better). The costumes and sets are so bad they aren't even funny: you can see the zippers in the bear costumes--hilarious, no?
With all of this working against them, I almost feel sorry for the actors. Sure, they're bad, but there was no way they could be any good at all in this movie. You alternate between pity for them and anger at them for their participation in it. I just hope they needed the money or the credit or something.
And it lasts FOREVER. Most kids' movies only last an hour or so; this one goes on and on and on and on and on....
The fanatical devotion that it inspires in children is frightening. Kids have no taste; this is the proof. To be avoided at all costs.
