Vincent Price credited as playing...
Professor Ratigan
- Ratigan: Ah, the uniforms! Oh, Fidget, I knew I could rely on you. Now, you didn't forget anything?
- Fidget: No problem. I took care of everything. Everything on the list...
- [tries to display the list but, to his amazement, the list is gone]
- Ratigan: What's wrong?
- Fidget: The list... but I know I...
- Ratigan: Where's the list?
- Fidget: The list, yeah, yeah yeah. Well, you see it was like this. I was in the toy store getting uniforms when I heard a "aroo aroo".
- Ratigan: [irritated] You're not coming through.
- Fidget: A dog came! I ran! I had baby bonnet, girl in bag, and Basil ch-chased me.
- Ratigan: What? Basil on the case? Why, you gibbering, little... hm... hm... HMMMMM!
- [restrains himself as Fidget cowers. Then suddenly calms down]
- Ratigan: [chuckles] Oh, my dear Fidget. You have been hanging upside down too long.
- [lovingly scooping up Fidget he walks toward Felicia's lair]
- Fidget: You mean you're not mad? I'm glad you're taking it so well.
- [Ratigan rings the dinner bell to summon Felicia]
- Fidget: [as he's being eaten] Aaaah! Not me, you idiot! No, stop, you stupid furball! Open up! Open up! You're hurting my wings!
- Ratigan: [rubbing his forehead] How dare that idiot Basil poke his stupid nose into my wonderful scheme and foul up everything?
- Ratigan: Oh, I love it when I'm nasty. Fidget?
- [Fidget snores]
- Ratigan: FIDGET!
- [Fidget wakes up, falling to the ground]
- Ratigan: Bright and alert as always. Here's the list. You know what to do and no mistakes!
- Fidget: No-no-no mistakes. Tools, gears, girl, uniforms...
- Ratigan: NOW, FIDGET!
- Fidget: I'm going, I'm going, I'm going!
- [Fidget scurries off]
- Ratigan: I have the power!
- Robot Queen: Of course you do.
- Ratigan: I am supreme!
- Robot Queen: Only you.
- Ratigan: This is my kingdom!
- [maniacal laugh]
- Ratigan: That is, of course, with your highness' permission.
- [the robot is idle; Ratigan slaps it to start it again]
- Robot Queen: Most assuredly... you insidious fiend.
- Ratigan: What?
- Robot Queen: You're not my royal consort!
- Ratigan: [to crowd] Such a sense of humor.
- Robot Queen: You're a cheap fraud & impostor!
- Ratigan: [under his breath] Flaversham!
- Basil: [operating the robot] A corrupt, vicious, demented, lowlife scoundrel. There's no evil scheme you wouldn't concoct.
- [the robot goes crazy and breaks apart]
- Robot Queen: No depravity you wouldn't commit. You, Professor, are none other than a foul stenchus rodentus, commonly known as a...
- Ratigan: Don't say it!
- Basil: [bursting out into the palace] ... Sewer rat!
- Ratigan: AAAARRRRGH!
- Basil: Arrest that fiend!
- Ratigan: Bravo! Bravo! A marvelous performance! Although I was expecting you fifteen minutes earlier. Trouble with the chemistry set, old boy?
- Ratigan: You don't know what a delightful dilemma it was, trying to decide on the most appropriate method for your demise. Oh, I had so many ingenious ideas I didn't know which to choose. So I decided to use them all. Marvelous, isn't it? Ha, ha! But, here, let me show you how it works. Picture this. First, a sprightly tune I've recorded especially for you. As the song plays, the cord tightens, and when the song ends, the metal ball is released, rolling along its merry way until...
- [points at mousetrap]
- Ratigan: Snap!
- [points at gun]
- Ratigan: Boom!
- [points at crossbow]
- Ratigan: Twang!
- [points at axe]
- Ratigan: Thunk!
- [points at anvil]
- Ratigan: Splat! And so ends the short, undistinguished career of Basil of Baker Street.
- Ratigan: Fidget, you delightful little maniac! You've provided me with a singular opportunity. Poor Basil. Oh, he's in for a little surprise.
- Ratigan: [reading a list of newly devised laws] Item 96: A heavy tax shall be levied against all parasites and sponges, such as the elderly, the infirm, and especially little children.
- [Ratigan has ridiculed Basil]
- Dr. Dawson: You fiend!
- Ratigan: Sorry, chubby. You should have chosen your friends more carefully.
- [henchmen cheer as Ratigan reviews his illustrious career]
- Ratigan: Thank you, thank you. But it hasn't all been champagne and caviar. I've had my share of adversity, thanks to that miserable, second-rate detective, Basil of Baker Street!
- Henchmen: Boo!
- Ratigan: For years, that insufferable pipsqueak has interfered with my plans, and I haven't had a moment's peace of mind.
- Henchmen: Aaw...
- Bartholomew: [cries]
- Ratigan: But all that's in the past! This time, nothing, not even Basil, can stand in my way! All will bow before me!
- Henchmen: [singing] Oh Ratigan, oh Ratigan / You're tops, and that's that / To Ratigan, to Ratigan...
- Bartholomew: To Ratigan, the world's greatest rat! Hic!
- [Ratigan does spit take; the henchmen turn in terror]
- Ratigan: What was that?
- Bartholomew: Hic!
- Ratigan: What did you call me?
- Henchmen: Oh, he didn't mean it, Professor!
- Henchman #2: It... it was just a slip of the tongue.
- Ratigan: I am not a rat!
- Henceman #3: Course you're not.
- Thug Guard: You're a mouse.
- Henchman #2: Yeah, a-a big mouse.
- Ratigan: Silence!
- Hiram Flaversham: You can do what you want with me. I won't be a part of this-this... this evil any longer!
- [Ratigan is getting extremely angry and impatient, but composes himself and grins]
- Ratigan: Oh, very well, if that is your decision.
- [pulls out Olivia's toy ballerina and winds it up]
- Ratigan: Oh, by the way, I'm taking the liberty of having your daughter brought here.
- Hiram Flaversham: O... Olivia?
- Ratigan: Yes. I would spend many a sleepless night if anything unfortunate were to befall her.
- Hiram Flaversham: You... Y-You wouldn't!
- [Ratigan crushes the ballerina in his hand and looks at it with mock pity, then briefly at Flaversham]
- Ratigan: [abruptly leans in threateningly and shouts] FINISH IT, FLAVERSHAM!
- Ratigan: Oh, my dear Bartholomew. I'm afraid that you've gone and upset me. You know what happens when someone upsets me.
- Ratigan: My friends, we are about to embark on the most odious, the most evil, the most diabolical scheme of my illustrious career. A crime to top all crimes, a crime that will live in infamy!
- [henchmen cheer]
- Ratigan: Tomorrow evening, our beloved monarch celebrates her Diamond Jubilee. And with the enthusiastic help of our good friend, Mr. Flaversham...
- [henchmen chuckle]
- Ratigan: ...it promises to be a night she'll never forget.
- [burns picture of Queen with cigarette]
- Ratigan: Her last night, and my first as supreme ruler of all mousedom!